Yep. That’s the guy who sucked the blood from my goat. Sorry officer, when I say it that way it sounds disgusting. Anywho, this Mounted Chupacabra Head is made from pulp and wood. Unlike the real thing, which is made in a government lab by scientists. The jaw is articulated, so you know, it can still suck. And it does. He looks like he’s making the orgasm face, so I’m guessing they shot him while doing the nasty.
Tag: chupacabra
Chupacabra Belt Buckle
Keep your pants up with this cool Chupacabra Belt Buckle. But does this mean that if my belt buckle spots a goat, it’s gonna jump off my business and go suck it’s blood, so that my pants fall down? That’s the question. Also this belt buckle kinda makes it look like that dirty goat sucker is snacking on my party log. Oh wait. I see the goat now. Wait… Is he snacking on that thing or are they making love? This belt buckle is confusing.
Cryptid Monster Necklaces
Accessorize with some cryptids. These Cryptid Monster Necklaces feature hand drawn images of the world’s most elusive monsters. For when you are in the mood to wear a Chupacabra, Bigfoot, The Jersey Devil or any of the other mythical monsters that roam our world, but remain in the shadows. Pro tip: The Jersey Devil is a guy named Earl who will overcharge you for a used car, with a body in the trunk, but you’ll take it anyway cuz you have to get the hell out of New Jersey.
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Cryptozoology Tracking Society Patches
Yeah, I remember getting some of these Cryptozoology Tracking Society Patches when I was back in Paranormal Boy Scouts. I hunted down Mothman and got that patch. Hunted down the Chupacabra and got that patch too. Little freak scratched my arm and gave me gangrene. I never got the Loch Ness Monster patch cuz I never made it to Scotland. Also never got the Jersey Devil patch cuz seriously, f**k Jersey.
Put these patches all on one jacket, then go out into the woods and dare these beasts to mess with you!
Bigfoot and Chupacabra Greeting Cards
Send all of your friends these cool Bigfoot and Chupacabra Greeting Cards from CreatureCardsDesign. In my case that means the mailman and the lady at the grocery store. They feature fun art and on the back there is a description of the monster’s origin and some sightings. But they don’t tell you what to do when you have a sighting. I can help with that: If you see these monsters, bend over and kiss your ass goodbye. Especially if you see the Chupacabra. He will suck your blood like a demon who just discovered a crazy straw for the first time. Except his straw is his tongue. I know, gross.
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