Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Crucifixion

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Crucifixion
That’s right. This is a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Crucifixion. Why does it exist? No idea. Cuz pain meds maybe. I’m not sure if this is Raphael, Michelangelo, Da Vinci, Socrates, or whatever the hell the other ones are named, but he clearly died for our sins. So be good to one another cuz God is making a list and checking it twice. He’s gonna find out who’s naughty and nice. Oh wait. My bad. that’s Santa Claus.

We’ve featured CoffinCollector’s work before. Always interesting. Always makes me dizzy and a little scared.

Heroes in a half shell! Resurrection power!

Rhino Hoof Boots

rhino hoof boots
These Rhino Hoof Boots make anyone look like Hillary Clinton. Dang! Did he just say that? Bang! Zing! Burn! Well leggo my Eggo and yankle my cankle! Thems some big hoofs! The seller says they were originally made for a Rocksteady costume, (You know, the rhinoceros guy from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) but I guess even he was like, “Yeah, too Hillary for me. Can we slim things up a bit?”

You know now that I see them in mom jeans, they don’t look so bad. I’ve seen far worse. Of course, I worked with elephants for a year.

Did you run away and join the circus?

No way. Talking about that time I worked for Jenny Craig, passing out flyers.

That’s mean!

Tell me about it. Took me a whole year to actually read those flyers. They had a picture of me with the caption, “Do NOT feed this man!” Hurtful! That also explained why I never got paid and why I had to buy my own meals only from them and talk about why I eat my feelings.

Thanks a lot mom. “Oh I talked to some people and got a job for you.”, she said. “They have a very strict eating policy.”, she said. “Just company rules.”

I’m out. Gotta go stuff it all deep down inside. Under a hot apple pie.

Christmas Elf On The Shelf Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Costume

elf on a shelf ninja turtle
This elf is bad to the bone. He doesn’t just sit on the shelf. He cosplays while he’s up there. As a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. Etsy seller Candygramscreations makes all kinds of clothes so you can dress your Christmas elf for success. This outfit comes with a front and back shell, a belt, mask, and 4 swords. Cowabunga!

Basically she is making elves super hip and cool, because otherwise, they just sit there creeping you out. Thanks for making the world a better place. I sometimes dress my Christmas elf up as a D and D elf, because I basically have no imagination. Sometimes as one of the Rice Krispies guys.
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Nintendo Game Boy: Darth Vader, TMNT And Back To The Future Editions

game boy toyEtsy seller Theworldisagameboy takes their user name seriously, turning Nintendo Game Boys into all kinds of cool toys. These are fully functional Game Boys that have been pumped up on steroids, like this Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle that looks like he will bite your head off and spit down your neck if you beat his Tetris high score. Come at me bro! I will totally crush your high score as you are beating at my knuckles with your little turtle fists. This guy is $263.57.

Click through to see more images, including a Darth Vader Game Boy and a Back To The Future Game Boy. Great Scott!
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