Tag: cuddly

Custom Pet Portrait Pillow Plush

Artemis Winterford1 Comment

pet pillows
So how do you want to remember Sparky and Fluffy when they are long gone? By looking at an urn on the mantle? Nah. Pet ashes fall on the carpet and make a mess. Then you breath that jazz in and get all possessed by your cat. Eventually being sent to the nuthouse after you have scratched up all of the furniture and peed in the corner too many times. There’s a better way.

Put your pets image on these Custom Pet Portrait Pillow Plushes. That way you can still cuddle and hug your pet. Having a giant cat head on your couch will still look creepy, but it beats the alternative of lifting your leg and peeing in your padded cell.
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ButtHeads Are Cuddly Plush Cigarettes

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buttheads cigarette plushWhat a bunch of ButtHeads. Some are cute and some look grumpy, but these butts are for cuddling not for smoking. You can choose from: smoked, not smoked or stepped on. Pro tip: If they come home with lipstick on their filter, you know they have been cheating on you.

These huggable and lovable butts might even help you quit smoking. Just punch it or hug it. Or both. While others are lighting up in their smoking areas, join them with your ButtHead and softly caress it as you smell that sweet smoke. Take it with you everywhere in place of smoking. On the bus, to the movies, to dinner. When the craving becomes too much, strangle your ButtHead. That’s what it’s there for. It’s sooooo hard to quit. Which is why your ButtHead will end up shredded, on the wrong side of a knife as you completely lose it.

Damn. That felt good. I need a smoke after that.

Pizza Dragon: A Song Of Cheese And Fire

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pizza dragonWhen you order this awesome Pizza Dragon, he flies to your house in a half hour or less, or he’s free. Free to set your face on fire, while he drips flaming grease and pepperoni from his wings like the vengeful winged stuffed-scale crust pizza demon that he is.

That gives me an awesome idea for a pizza chain. I’m gonna raise baby pizza dragons. I’ll raise some pepperoni, some with other toppings. They don’t even need to go into the oven since they practically cook themselves. Best of all I won’t need drivers. Just pay for your Dragon-Pizza and it gets set free so it can fly to your house. I would get rave reviews too:

“By the time I caught the thing I had third degree burns and melted cheese all over my house and now I’m undergoing throat surgery since it’s saucy blood was like lava.”

“It was OK, but my wife and Khaleesi is the Mother of Dragons. She was pretty pissed when she found out what we were eating.”

“The sausage was all carbon and ash by the time it got here. Then it ate my cat, which sucked, however, it immediately grew new bits of sausage all over it’s cheesy skin between the wings… with bits of fur in it. At least I didn’t have to bury my animal. Thanks Pizza Dragon!”
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Ebola Plush Toy: So Cute It Is Infectious

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ebola plushMaker of infectious toys modeled after viruses Giantmicrobes has one weird plush that is sure to be passed around a lot this season. Their entire stock is sold out, probably thanks to its small and large Ebola plushes and its Ebola petri dish toy being so hot this season.

I didn’t order one. I’m too busy looking for the next threat that we are supposed to be scared of after this one. They should really give out flu plushes with vaccinations though, since you get it every time they give you a flu shot. Thanks. I’d hate to see what happens when you try to protect me from Ebola. I’ll just grow my own moldy petri dish and see what I can come up with.