This Spooky Room Lightbox is a fun decoration. It’s perfect for putting my action figures inside of a haunted house and creating spooky scenes while I yell from the audience. “Cut! What the hell was that? Where is your motivation? Remember, the ghost salesmen killed your lover. Where’s the anger? I’ve seen cats give a better performance in the litter box. Emote damn you! Shed a tear! Now do it again with more feeling or so help me God you will never work in this town again R2-D2! C-3PO, kiss him like you mean it!”
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Tag: decor
Life Sized Coffin With Skeleton
This Life Sized Coffin With Skeleton makes a great yard decoration, especially around Halloween time. Not sure why he is covering up his junk like he’s all shy. I mean we all know he has a bone…er. The question is why? Was it you who excited him or me? I think it was me. It wouldn’t be the first time a skeleton found me attractive. What? It could happen. Throw me a bone here.
Poor guy’s coffin isn’t quite big enough. That’s gotta be uncomfortable. Remember coffin making dudes, measure twice, cut once. I measure three times and cut loose. Foot loose! Then I kick off your Sunday shoes. Even if it’s Monday.
H.P. Lovecraft Bust
This H.P. Lovecraft Bust is pretty busty. I mean, not as busty as that lady I accidentally bumped into at the supermarket, who saved my life with her giant bazoomba airbags but still. This bust will look good in your home. Maybe you can use it on that altar where you try and summon Cthulhu every night. Yeah, I know what you get up to when I’m not around. That’s dangerous bidness peeps.
Funny story. I once tried to do the same thing. I was all like, “May the many tentacle-headed beast rise again and cleanse the world in blood and fire!” It took me a week to get rid of Predator AND Evil Bob Marley. Apparently the other side heard tentacle-headed and thought that meant dreadlocks. I need to be more specific.
Glowing Alien Fetus In A Jar
This Glowing Alien Fetus In A Jar looks like it is about to go nuclear. This is what happens when you have a kid after exposing your nads to the microwave too often. And that’s all I’m saying about that. Well, I’ll say one more thing. Microwave radiation will not turn your junk into The Hulk.
Anyway, look at this little fetus. He has a real de-fetus attitude doesn’t he? You would too if you were a glowing fetus all stuck in a jar and glowing, with a cork on top so you can’t escape. This will make a lovely centerpiece for my table. That way I can dine by fetal light instead of candle light. And ask my wife if she’s ready to have kids.
Vintage Phrenology Head
Phrenology is the study of… Yeah, I’m at a loss. It’s your personality based on the shape of your head or something. I have no idea. What is a Phren anyway? A phren is a phren, right till the end. Put her there phren. I’ll see you later. I have to go consult a head about my life. I think it might be a map to buried treasure that aliens implanted in my brain. Plus, I’m gonna get this vintage phrenology head just cuz it looks cool.
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