This Wine Coffin Display lets you display your wine in style. Break this baby open and drink up. Pretty soon you will be seeing the dead. Would you like some wine? But of corpse! The seller also says that you can display a doll inside, but a doll never got you blind stinking drunk, so I’ll go with the wine. Gonna drink until I’m embalmed with sweet wine and when I’m gone you can bury my liver in this coffin. It worked hard to get me where I am after all.
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Tag: decor
Zombie Chia Pet
Cha cha cha Chia! This Zombie Chia Pet is a great way to decorate your home with a zombie that won’t eat your brains. I don’t think. It just looks like a zombie crawling out of the grass. I’m no good with pets so I’m just gonna pass on this one. I would probably forget to feed it and that’s when the zombie would come after me trying to get a brain snack. He’s in for a big surprise. There’s not much there. The joke is on you Chia Zombie. Why do you think I forgot to feed ya.
Dig These Crazy Creature Fossils
These creature fossils from Dustfull let you have some neat creature bones in your home without having to dig them up. I know that my neighbors get really pissed when I dig in their yard, even though I know for a fact that there is a giant T-Rex buried there. Hey, I was as quiet as I could be with that bulldozer. They don’t come with silencers. If they did I would be digging everywhere at night and stealing bones.
They have mermaid fossils, bats, dragons and more. I told you dragons exist! But no, you wouldn’t listen. Why would they show them on Game of Thrones if they were fake? Next you’ll be telling me that half the boobs on the internet are fake. Whatevs. Do your research.
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Brian The Giant Turd Stuffed Doll
I was just saying the other day that every Brian I meet turns out to be a real turd. I’m sure their not all bad, but man, I’ve met a lot of turds named Brian. Here’s another. Brian The Giant Turd Stuffed Doll. He’s ready to be displayed in your home so he can turd up your place. Hopefully they deliver him on time and he’s not turdy. I mean tardy. I’m not sure what his maker ate, but it looks like he’s got some green shading there. Also very puffy eyes. I guess it’s tiring being a turd. Or maybe he’s just sad he came in turd place in a contest.
Also, how do you get a turd that’s segmented in that way? I’m guessing you push, squeeze and push squeeze. I have no idea. And who would have thought that a turd could have such full lips? It’s from kissin’ butt on the way out. He’s a little brown noser. That’s probably why somebody gave him that shiner on his eye.
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Horror Book Themed Candles
It’s been awhile since I sat down with a good book. You know why? Because books aren’t very good at conversation. Also, because books don’t have the internet with built in naughty websites. Books also don’t feed me. There’s actually a lot of reasons now that I think about it. At least now I can enjoy some good books with my candles thanks to these Horror Book Themed Candles.
These decorative candles from FirstEditionCandleCo have a little book attached and you can even use them as bookmarks. They will make your place look all creepy-like. Gotta say though, these are not that original. I created these back in the great fire of 1996 when I last read a book by candle light. The fireman gave me the candle covered book as a souvenir along with a slap to the back of the head.
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