Tag: decor

Spider Coasters Make You Want To Slam Your Glass Down Hard

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Spider Coasters Make You Want To Slam Your Glass Down Hard
ACK! Kill it! *Slams glass down on the spider, sending grape soda everywhere, mostly in my face!* Oh Jesus! *Puts hand to chest to steady my heart.* Why did I think that spider coasters were a good idea?

*Looks down at my glass.* ACK! Spider in my drink! *Throws glass against the wall where it shatters.* Thank god! *Looks where the glass used to be, Sees spider coaster.* ACK! It was under my drink! *Runs to the fridge, gets another glass, fills it with beer, runs back, slams glass on spider, screams because the spider is still there. Breaks down sobbing.* Why? Why? Why?

T-Rex Dinosaur Candlesticks

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T-Rex Dinosaur Candlesticks
T-Rex Dinosaur Candlesticks. This dinosaur lighting accessory will provide a Jurassic spark to any room. He he he. Jurassic spark. They are made with repurposed painted plastic toys, making them awesome. They look like major awards that you could win for being the coolest dinosaur ever. Which is why I have so many.

Every year a paint a dinosaur gold, walk down my own red carpet, present one to myself and give a teary eyed speech. This year was special. I sawed a donkey in half, spray painted the butt-end gold and gave my self “The ultimate half-ass award” cuz I never do anything all the way.

Hellraiser Puzzle Box Coasters

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Hellraiser Puzzle Box Coasters
If you want to protect your furniture, use these Hellraiser Puzzle Box Coasters. Cuz you know if you spill beer all over my coffee table, I’m gonna raise hell. I don’t put up with that shizz. I will raise some serious hell on the first person to leave a sweat ring on my counter too. You know Pinhead? He used to be friend “Larry” Mother effer slammed his glass down one night and left grape juice everywhere. So I made him my pin cushion. YOU JUST GOT PINNED BIATCH! HELL WILL BE RAISED!

Horror Movie Monster Clocks

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Horror Movie Monster Clocks
What time is it? Monster time baby! These Horror Movie Monster Clocks from WigOutGraphics cover all of the classic Universal movie monsters. They have Frankenstein’s monster, Wolfman, Dracula, The Mummy, The Creature from the Black Lagoon and more. These clocks are perfect for your own haunted house or mad scientists laboratory. That’s the one that isn’t the bathroom, right? Oh yeah. That’s lavatory, however the hell that makes sense. Is there lava in there? No. If there was, I would have peed on it and created some cool steam, then enjoyed a steam bath. Stupid English language.

Hang them all on your walls and have a Monster Mash. Or a Graveyard Bash. Whichever!
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Blue Tentacle Plant: Plush Potted Tentacles

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Blue Tentacle Plant Plush Potted Tentacles
You don’t need a green thumb or even a sliver of Cthulhu’s DNA to grow a potted tentacle. Just display this Blue Tentacle Plant in your home. It’s that easy. Pfft! Tentacles are for suckers! Get it?

I’m gonna get several and give them all instruments. I’m calling it the Blue Tentacle Group. Man I wish I knew how to garden. I always thought “potted” plants were just plants inhaling pot smoke. This one looks like it took some LSD.

Gotta go and practice with the band. Laterz.
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