This Hannibal Zombie Elf On A Shelf is the elf on a shelf inside of a cell, wearing a muzzle. I guess the North Pole is a bloody place, with some sick and twisted elves. Now this guy can terrorize you in your own home during the holiday season. Keep that mask on so he doesn’t bite you. Or worse, eat you. With a bottle of wine. I wonder what wine goes best with me… Hmmm. No way I would let this guy in my home, but you make your own call. That call should be to the police as this elf is around your neck with a little knife.
Tag: decoration
Ghost in the Mirror Wall Plaque
Mirror, mirror on the wall- What the? Either I just turned into a beautiful pale woman or there’s a ghost in my mirror. Hey baby. I would say, “My place or yours”, but clearly you already chose my place. This Ghost in the Mirror Wall Plaque will liven up your home. Hopefully she’s always stuck and doesn’t fully emerge one day. I’m gonna get one and hang my keys from her fingers, until she goes back into mirror-world one day and steals them. But that’s cool. She can get away with anything cuz I’m kinda attracted to her. Not that I have a ghost of a chance with her.
Krampus Fiber Optic Christmas Tree Topper
This Krampus Fiber Optic Christmas Tree Topper makes your tree look effin metal man. Krampus just wants to sit on top, check out your gifts, maybe ask for a sacrifice now and then, which is usually a Kit-Kat or Snickers. Hey, he’s a diva when he’s hungry. I just throw the candy at him and tell him to shut his Kramp-hole.
The Webcaster Gun Makes Realistic Halloween Cobwebs
The Webcaster lets you spin realistic spiderwebs like Spider-Man himself. They look so realistic, you will swear you have a Black Widow infestation. It’s basically an awesome glue gun that makes cobwebs. Now I have to get one. Cuz I want my basement to look all creepy for Halloween, and the spiders just aren’t doing it fast enough. The “glue sticks” come in several different colors. Hope I don’t web myself in a corner. Fingers crossed.
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Octopus Toilet Paper Holder
The Octopus Toilet Paper Holder is like having extra tentacles for your TP. The only problem is that this guy won’t ever stop staring at you while you are taking an octo-dump. That’s an 8 minute dump for those who don’t know. Could also be used for a massive dump of 8 curvy logs that look like floating tentacles. Not that I would know. I don’t look at my poop after it leaves me. I’m not one for long and drawn out goodbyes.