Cthulhu Chibi Doll Is A Real Terror Tot

Cthulhu Chibi Doll Is A Real Terror Tot
Awwww look how cute? An ancient evil has awakened. A Cthulhu Chibi Doll. He’s cute, he’s naked and he’s mad. I would be mad too, if I was missing my low hanging tentacle. Poor guy has no pee-pee, but he has all of the other powers an ancient evil typically has. Hey, don’t judge my man Chibi Cthulhu. It’s not the size of the tentacle, it’s how you wiggle it around under your trench coat. Or so I’ve heard. The point is this little guy is adorable. I’ll try to stop focusing on what’s missing.

No. Can’t do it. Dude needs a wiener. Just drew one on my screen. That’s better. I feel like he’s complete now. I also feel like it’s called permanent marker for a reason. That dong is gonna follow me everywhere online just like the NSA.
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Weird Franken-Baby Doll Head Lamp

Weird Franken-Baby Doll Head Lamp
ACK! Get that baby away from me! Go Franken-baby! Get out of here! *Swings my torch at him and jabs my pitchfork at him.* This is a face that only a mother could love. Yeah, a blind mother f***er! If you’re looking for something nasty and horrible to light up your room at night, look no further than this Weird Franken-Baby Doll Head Lamp.

*Shudders* I need therapy just from seeing this thing. It has like a Jack-O-Lantern carving in the back of it’s skull too. Also seems to emit the blue light of a hundred souls that it has devoured.
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Pikachu Cthulhu Mashup Crochet Doll

Pikachu Cthulhu Mashup Crochet Doll
Pikachu and Cthulhu sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love then comes marriage. Then comes Cthulhu in a baby carriage. Of doom! Someone mashed up our favorite Pokemon with our favorite ancient evil. The result? Well, it’s cute as hell, but let’s just say you don’t want to see anything like this on your ultrasound. If you do, then everyone knows you were cheating on Pikachu with Cthulhu. Look at those cute wittle tentacles! Who’s the cutest wittle evil Pokemon? You are. Yes you are.

This Pikachu Cthulhu Mashup Crochet Doll is an unholy abomination and I love it.

Vincent Van Gogh Plush Doll With Removable Ear

Vincent Van Gogh Plush Doll With Removable Ear
Give yourself the gift of Van Gogh, one of history’s greatest painters. Then give the one you love Van Gogh’s ear. Just like Van Gogh did. Thanks to this Vincent Van Gogh Plush Doll With Removable Ear. You don’t have to be stark raving mad to cut off your ear and send it to the woman you love. But it helps.

Say what you want about Vincent. He would always lend you his ear. Can you “ear” me Vincent? Oh that’s your bad side. Sorry. Oh well, you know what they say. Ear today, gone tomorrow. Vincent Van Gogh? More like Vincent Van Gone Deaf on one side.

Man, I hope that chick at least gave him a little something for cutting his damn ear off. If not, that’s just cold.

via Ohgizmo

Wine Coffin Display

Wine Coffin Display
This Wine Coffin Display lets you display your wine in style. Break this baby open and drink up. Pretty soon you will be seeing the dead. Would you like some wine? But of corpse! The seller also says that you can display a doll inside, but a doll never got you blind stinking drunk, so I’ll go with the wine. Gonna drink until I’m embalmed with sweet wine and when I’m gone you can bury my liver in this coffin. It worked hard to get me where I am after all.
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