Tag: etsy

Leather Kraken Helmet

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Leather Kraken HelmetCrikey, ats a kraken elmet mate! I’ll take a crack at that kraken helmet. It doesn’t have any actual cracks right? Good cuz my head needs to be protected while I’m riding my Big Wheel, which I decked out in tentacles and seaweed. I’m going for a whole Mad Max thing. In this case, I call it Crazy Kraks.

You see why I have to protect my noggin? Cuz these ideas are gold! Plus I’m a big fan of Cthulhu and Krakens. In school the girls used to call me H.P. Nub-craft, for reasons I don’t feel comfortable getting into here. Well, I better get Kraken if I’m gonna save up all my dough and buy this thing.
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Swarovski Crystal Skull Earrings

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Swarovski Crystal Skull Earrings
Wow, look at those crystal skull earrings. Back off Indy, that’s mine! I’m gonna sell it for a fortune and buy a small island. *Knees Indy in his 70 year old junk and watches as he falls down a trap pit. Then I swing into action, clutching a jungle vine and snatch these Swarovski Crystal Skull Earrings off of the lovely lady who is no longer wearing them and jump into a waiting jeep.* So pretty. Such a rare treasure! What the? *Indy drops behind me as I’m racing down a tight road on the side of a cliff. He gives me a choke hold, so I elbow him in the ribs and send him flying over the cliff.* Haha. Sucker. *Reaches into my pocket where the earrings are missing.* Nooooooooooo. *Jumps out of the car and over the cliff after him.*

Two adventurers died that day and the treasure was lost again. You see what happens when you interfere Indy? This is why I can’t have nice things.
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A Bunch Of Crazy Monster Heads For Your Wall

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A Bunch Of Crazy Monster Heads For Your Wall
These crazy monster heads are basically demon heads popping out of your wall. The sellers says:

In this piece I attempt to personify many of my own personal “demons” that have taught me the importance of persistence, dedication and determination to name a few.

Damn. You and your “friends”must have been a real hit at dinner parties. Now you can take this person’s demons and display them on your wall. But collection other people’s demons may not be a good idea.
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Octopus Tentacles Umbrella

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Octopus Tentacles Umbrella
This Octopus Tentacles Umbrella will look amazing while it keeps the rain off of you. Like Cthulhu himself, it has tentacles everywhere. Except that his are usually grabbing at a waitress as he calls her toots. You can’t take him anywhere. This is a classy umbrella. Otherwise known as a parasol, if you’re all fancy-like. And you will be fancy, prancing about town, tentacles held high, the water just careening off this thing, giving the impression that you are a protected behind a waterfall. You smile and with your free hand, tease your hair. That’s right. You are woman and everyone can hear that sexy roar.

You have this umbrella to thank. And of course me, who brought it to your attention. I know, I know. No need to thank me. Just doing my job.

Jeepers Creepers Horror Movie Clock

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Jeepers Creepers Horror Movie Clock
Jeeper creepers, where’d ya get those peepers? Jeepers Creepers where you get those eyes? Probably from some other dude’s skull, cuz look at this guy. Don’t mess with him. This Jeepers Creepers Horror Movie Clock is pretty awesome. What time is it? Oh, it’s half past the severed head. I’m gonna be late! This clock has an axe for a pendulum that swings back and forth too.