It’s an Articulated Rattlesnake. Does that mean it’s well spoken? I kid. I kid. More like rattle bones, am I right? This guy is gonna look good on my shelf and scare everyone who visits my home. And by everyone, I mean mother. And yes, I refer to her as mother in the weird creepy Norman Bates way.It’s okay. Mother can’t hear us. She’s in the other room in her rocking car, collecting cobwebs.
Read more “Articulated Rattlesnake”
Tag: etsy
Awesome Cthulhu Journal
This Cthulhu Journal looks pretty friggin’ cool man. Use it as a diary, or a journal, or a place to write your awesome yet unappreciated Cthulhu fan fiction titled “Titillated By Tentacles” aka Miskatonic Mistress. Or “A tentacle fondled my mountains of madness.” Or just you know, use it for grocery lists or something. But I really want to read your fan fiction. Sounds exciting and neurotic. I mean erotic. I mean. I don’t know what I mean.
Illuminati Necklace
Oh look, an Illuminati Necklace. It’s the all seeing eye of the illuminati! Pffft! I bet it didn’t see what I did in the shower earlier. Spoiler alert: I peed. When ya gotta go, you gotta go. Technically I wasn’t “in the shower” yet, but I did it anyway. It’s like my litter box and I’m a bad bad kitty. *Licks paw and rubs my head.*
Read more “Illuminati Necklace”
Mini Vampire Kits
These Mini Vampire Kits will come in real handy if I get attacked by a tiny blood sucker. That’s why I’m taking one of these with me in the woods. You know, ticks. Tiny bloodsuckers. Also should be good against midget politicians. And it might help you against doctors bearing tiny syringes. There are a lot of tiny blood suckers out there now that I think about it. This will help.
Necronomicon Light Switch Plate
Holy Necronomicon Batman! This Necronomicon Light Switch Plate will make me way to scared to turn the lights off. Or on. Turn ’em off and I’ll be too scared of some portal to hell opening up and swallowing me whole as Cthulhu devours my soul. Turn ’em on and that Necronomicon face will scare the bejesus out of me and I got very little bejesus left!
Read more “Necronomicon Light Switch Plate”