Mummified Talon Fairy

mummified fairy
Well damn. That is one ugly little flying freak. I thought fairies were supposed to be beautiful twinkling creatures, trailing pixie dust from their wings and farting sunshine. These guy’s trailing brown crusty dust from his wings and farting real farts that clear the whole fairy tree house out.

Look at this Mummified Talon Fairy holding it’s hands to it’s breasts like, “Don’t hate me because I’m ugly.” Too late. Don’t ugly me and I won’t hate ya.

Wait! That says “Specimen 2948”. How many of these things are there? And do we have enough insecticide to protect ourselves? Nah. Just kidding. I would never do that. But I would clean my sliding glass door to perfection so they fly into it. Then I’d start numbering my own specimens and selling them.
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Horror Movie Character Magnets

Horror Movie Character Magnets
Make your fridge a house of horrors with these cool Horror Movie Character Magnets. I mean, more horrible than it already is. For God’s sake clean up that pile of mold in the corner behind that furry ham! I’m talking to you. You know who you are. Bonesart has enough of these cool magnets to cover your fridge in horror icons.

You can choose from the shark from Jaws, Cthulhu, Jason Voorhees, The Creature from The Black Lagoon and more. It’s like a horror icon reunion and you are the host. Pretty cool stuff. Seriously, clean that fridge. Damn! Why does that cheese have green polka-dots?
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Cute Zombie In Coffin Sculpture

Cute Zombie In Coffin Sculpture
Make some room in your heart and on your shelf, for this Cute Zombie In Coffin Sculpture. This undead figure can be displayed in his coffin or out. He either just ate something super sour or he’s getting his tonsils checked by the zombie doctor. I have no idea. Oh and he took his own eyeball out.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a self-harming zombie before. He’s all about not living fast and undying young. Does that make sense? Again, I have no idea. I ran out of “medicine” today aka Box wine and I don’t know what’s going on with anything. You’re lucky I showed up at all. I was gonna call in sick, but there are just too damn many of you. It would have been a full work day just letting you all know and half of you would have thought I was lying about that lie about helping the old lady to the hospital after a squirrel attack.

4 Headed Dark Duckling

4 Headed Dark Duckling
The quack is back. No, that’s not right. The quack is black. Beware the 4 Headed Dark Duckling. He probably spent his life walking in circles. That would suck having to eat for 4.

This thing is whacked yo! No, it’s quacked yo! It’s actually 4 individual ducks all put together. So this thing is stacked yo! You might say the maker got all his or her ducks in a row. And that’s all the duck comedy I have for today.

Duck Tales…Wooo-ooo!

Crazy Plush Specimens In Flasks

Crazy Plush Specimens In Flasks
If you’ve ever wanted to collect some specimens inside of chemistry flasks, this is your lucky day. Etsy seller carelesspress has several of these Crazy Plush Specimens In Flasks. I have no idea what kinds of specimens these are, but they are plush and probably very highly contagious diseases. Like a prozzy in a fur coat.

Collect them all and be THAT weird scientist guy. You know, the one who isn’t really a scientist, but has plush specimens in jars. Fine, I admit it. It’s me. Except all of my specimens are in jars in my fridge. And they’re plush because they’re mold.
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