I always said I would have a Pigasus Christmas Tree Ornament on my tree when pigs fly. I guess I better pony-up and get this thing on the tree this year. I’ll call him Oink-o Boink-o and he will be my patron saint of Bacon. Every day I will kneel before him and make offerings and the next morning I will come downstairs to find a pound of bacon gift wrapped with care.
Thank you mighty Oink-o Boink-o. *Backs away slowly, bowing.* You are as wise as you are benevolent!
EliseKoncsek makes cool and creepy Laser Cut Wood Halloween Lanterns. Too scary for me though. I get scared when people make shadows on the wall with their fingers. These lanterns cast spooky scenes on your walls. I’m talking scary. I mean, way worse than that horrid wallpaper in your room. What? You thought I couldn’t see you from this side of the screen? Of course I can. I am with you always. I see everything…*Heavy breathing.*
So you call the cops. They trace the blog. “Maam, he’s blogging from inside your house. Get out of there now!”
Relax, I would never do that to you. That would ruin, like, my whole gig blogging from your attic and crawlspaces.
Anyway, these lanterns are cool. Not as cool as that area rug in your bedroom, or that bathing suit in your drawer, but pretty cool.
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I’ve never been to your fancy Disneyland or Disney World. Probably because your parents were cooler than mine. So I have no idea what all the fuss is over the Haunted Mansion, but judging by these Disney Haunted Mansion Full Dining Set Props, the ghosts are eating better than I am.
I’m gonna set the table and wait for the ghosts. Then when they come, me and Bill Murray, Dan Akroyd and the rest of the Ghostbusters are gonna let them have it. I’ll probably get slimed. I typed “slimmed” at first, but that ain’t happening. If ghosts caused weight loss, Elvira would be the Jenny Craig spokesperson holding meetings at haunted houses.
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*Stares at this Ghost Of A Hive Painting. Stares some more. Studies it intently. Looks for meaning. Sighs.* F**kin’ Lady gaga!
She has a serious case of Colony Collapse Disorder.
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Dear God in heaven! In the name of all that is holy, those are some hauntingly creepy Baby Doll Head Leggings. It’s like a portal to hell opened up and they all came spilling out! I can hardly even look at their faces. Fun fact: I am so disturbed I almost typed, “I can hardly look at their feces”. That would actually be preferable to these demonic doll heads.
If you look real close some of them look like they have butt-heads. God help us all. The demon doll head invasion has begun!