Hey, check out my choker! Does that sound dirty? Sorry. I mean my Monster Choker Necklace. Really though, check it out. Go ahead and unzip it. Go on. Hey, why are you running away? I guess some people just don’t appreciate fashion.
Check this out.*Puts a hot dog in there. zips it back up. Unzips it a minute later.* See? Gone. Thing is hungry as hell. I fed it some Skittles and onion rings earlier too. Problem is I have to brush ’em every night or they get even nastier. It’s a real pain.
Ladies and gentlemen. The Beetles! *Crowd goes wild.* Replace your nails with beetle wings finger tip rings. Why not? You’ll look like Witch and real witches use beetle wings. Real witches also get houses thrown on them thanks to a girl named Dorothy. So look out for that.
Did you know, if you say beetle wings three time real fast, a beetle will appear. It’s either going to be Paul or Ringo. You feeling lucky?
Read more “Jewel Beetle Wings Finger Tip Ring Set”
If the Illuminati has spy equipment and you know they do, this is what it would look like. When it’s masters aren’t keeping tabs on the likes of Jay-Z and Lady Gaga, this thing probably wonders into your home to keep it’s eye on you. All because you typed something weird into a search engine. It happened to me, it can happen to you. Hey, I’m a blogger. My search history is supposed to be weird. What’s your excuse?
I bet they named it something cool like Iris. Who do you think taught this Walking Spider Eyeball it’s trade? I have no idea, but it was a good pupil. Are these jokes corny-a? Going now.
ComaToastCoffinCo makes these cool creepy chairs. They are perfect for haunted houses or just for sitting in this Halloween and looking all freaky. Wait. ComaToastCoffinCo? Cool name. ComaToast. It’s when you want toast real bad, so you make some, but you are so tired you fall asleep and don’t eat it. You also get butter all over your shirt. And…Other…Odd places. Trust me on this one.
These chairs are all rib cages, skulls and spiderwebs, which sounds like a supermodel at the end of her career. I might dress up as the Grim Reaper this Halloween and sit in one of these like a throne as I give out candy. More like, sit on this chair and get beat up by the bigger kids and have my candy taken away. Oh Halloween. No matter how old I get, nothing ever changes.
Read more “Creepy Chairs For Your Haunted Mansion”
*Singing* Everybody’s talking about revolution, evolution… All I am sayyyying…Is give peace a chance.
Now I’m gonna go lay in bed and take questions from reporters. Now where was I? Oh yeah. Evolution. Life’s a b*tch. Then you die. Then you rise again as a zombie. Then you eat brains. Then your skin starts rotting and falling off. Then you get shot in the head by some dude who couldn’t understand your zombie talk. All you wanted was that Reese’s cup he was holding.
Anyway, this cool Zombie Evolution T Shirt puts it all in perspective. I must be the missing link cuz I don’t see tubby nerd represented on this shirt.