Brokencog makes sasquatch heads out of animal butts and other assorted parts. More like Butt-Foot or Ass-Squatch. These are fugly Dr. Seuss looking characters that I’m pretty sure exist in the “Tripping acid realm”, cuz I’ve seen em there. I think I bought a used car from one in the “tripping balls realm” once, which turned out to be a tricycle, only I didn’t find out until I made like 3 payments. The point is, don’t trust these guys. Or this guy.
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Tag: etsy
That Exists – Weird Catnip Cat Toy Fetus
Yep, that exists. A Cat Toy Fetus. Great precedent to set. Now cats are going to want to play with fetuses all the time. They’ll be attacking pregnant women just to get at the cat toy they are carrying inside. Great idea. They are gonna give upon mice in favor of their new favorite toy. The fetus. Meh. Whatevs. I guess. At this point I just have a de-fetus attitude.
Also get this fetus for your wall.
Alien Belt Buckle – I Want To Believe My Pants Will Stay Up
There’s nothing like an Alien Belt Buckle to get aliens hovering over your junk all day long. That way they can monitor your pee schedule and know whenever you pull your peen out and do whatever other sick experiments they do. Go ahead,collect your sick data, I don’t care. Imma be rocking a sweet belt buckle with your shiny heads all over it. This Chupacabra Belt Buckle is also a good choice.
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Skull Money Clip To Carry Your Dead Presidents
This Skull Money Clip will hold your cash and look cool doing it. That is a steel skull too, so it is built to last. All of the badass dudes and dudettes are using these. I’m gonna get one and be cool too. People are gonna be all like, “Nice skull dude.” and I’m gonna be all like, “Thanks, here’s a tip.” Then I’m gonna be out of money cuz I’m a writer. Now I made myself sad. *sigh* Anyway, check out Alien Money Clip too.
Scented Loch Ness Monster Ornaments
I know what you’re thinking. That Scented Loch Ness Monster Ornaments surely smell like seaweed and monster pee. Nope. These ornaments are lavender scented. Hang them anywhere you want. On your Christmas tree, your rear view mirror, wherever. I have mine above the Captain’s wheel on my boat. Sometimes I reach up and sniff it like a bloodhound, so I know if I’m getting close to Nessie or not. It doesn’t help, but I feel a little high. Then I forget what I was doing and spin donuts on the water until the coastguard comes. So that was my weekend.