Looks like we have some gnome-napping action happening here. I’ve seen this before. They are gonna tie that garden gnome up in some dark basement and demand a ransom from some old lady in a moo-moo whose life isn’t complete with her garden gnome. Gargoyles and gnomes are natural enemies, despite the fact that one sticks to the garden and the other perches on roof corners. Man, I hope the lady pays the ransom and they don’t off that gnome as an example. Bigfoot also likes to kidnap gnomes.
Tag: lawn ornament
Zombie Flamingos: The Squawking Dead
These Zombie Flamingos would look awesome in a zombie trailer park. Hey, that’s a great name for a band. Ladies and gentlemen! The Zombie Flamingos! We’d get on stage, rock out super hard while our flesh rots off, against a trailer park backdrop all foggy and lit by the full moon, and at the end we would all balance on one leg like Flamingos do.
Too bad I’m way to busy with this blog. Plus, I just tried to book a few gigs and no trailer park will let us play there. I guess only hurricanes and shotguns are welcome. Whatevs. I’m ordering some of these zombie birds for this Halloween.
Mummified Baby Bird Feeder
Damn that’s nasty! Don’t have a mummified corpse to put in your yard so that birds and squirrels can feed from it’s dead body? No problem. Etsy seller AutumnsOddities has you covered. Your yard animals will love this Mummified Baby Bird Feeder.
Basically it makes it look like you left your kid permanently unattended in your yard until little Bobby or Susie has become squirrel food. Just fill it up with bird seed and then watch nature do it’s nasty thing. Just remember, they’ll be pecking at you next while you try to sip some lemonade in the backyard.
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Crazy 3 Foot Tall Monster Strung Up On A Tree
He has terrorized you from under the bed for too long. He scares you to death even when you have a night light on all night. He steals your rolled up socks and puts sticky stuff inside so your mom finds it and sighs in disgust. So, when you finally catch the boogeyman, you know what to do. Tie his gnarled hands up and string him up in a tree for the whole neighborhood to see.
This 3 foot tall monster is nasty and just begging to be tortured by an angry mob as he hangs in that tree. “Drool included” of course.
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