Tag: gargoyle

Worrywart Gargoyle Waterspout

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Worrywart Gargoyle Waterspout
Attach this Worrywart Gargoyle Waterspout to your gutter pipe and this guy is gonna look like me on a Saturday night, except he is gonna be spewing water, whereas I am spewing spew. Cuz I party so hard. I party like a Gargoyle son! That means I sit around all day in one place and occasionally puke my guts out. All you can eat at the buffet (Their rules) mixed with all the liquor I can drink (My rules) makes for an interesting evening. Then it’s back to my sedentary lifestyle. So I can identify with this guy.

*Heaving over the toilet* Somebody hold my wings man.

Vampire Demon Tombstone Statue

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Vampire Demon Tombstone Statue
This Vampire Demon Tombstone Statue is exactly what you need if you have a vampire/demon to bury. It has a crazy gargoyle/demon on top just so there’s no doubt that this is a Vampire’s grave. To bad you can’t customize the gravestone.

Here lies Dracula.
Killed by a stake on the end of a spatula.
His life was spectacular.

Here lies a filthy demon
He died while screamin’
The cross against his chest was steamin’

Gargoyle Claw Back Scratcher – There Will Be Blood

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Gargoyle Claw Back Scratcher - There Will Be BloodThis Gargoyle Claw Back Scratcher comes in several different colors. All will scratch your back like a crazed Gargoyle. They will scratch that itch, whether it’s a seven year itch, or other itch. Okay back scratcher, you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours. Looks like you don’t have a back, so it’s gonna be all me. Oh yeah. It’s the Itchy and Scratchy show up in here. Oh yeah, right there. Harder. Harder. A little deeper. There ya go. *shakes it’s hand and puts it back on the shelf.* Was it as good for you as it was for me?

Gargoyle Engagement Ring

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Gargoyle Engagement Ring
This Gargoyle Engagement Ring features two Gargoyles resting by the roof of a building. You know how you make a Gargoyle? Get engaged. Get cold feet. Then get on the roof and prepare to jump. And since you suck at that too, just sit there for eternity. That’s how you create a Gargoyle.

Yeah, but how do then turn to stone then? Explain that.

The wife shows up below and looks at him.

Huh?

They were about to marry Medusa.

Wow.

Yeah, she has been left at the alter soooooo many times. She’s pretty bitter about it.
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Dark Shadows Gargoyle Sculptural Lamp

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Dark Shadows Gargoyle Sculptural Lamp
Damn, this gargoyle is all like, “Waz up? I have arrived and I’m about to move my wings like a trench coat and flash you.” Enjoy the ethereal light that seems to emminate from his ghostly gargoyle crotch. This Dark Shadows Gargoyle Sculptural Lamp is half evil, half… I don’t know what. I just know I don’t want to see his demon weenie, but he seems to be threatening to show it. Is that a light in your loafers or are you just happy to see me? Both? Cool. This lamp will cast some neat light onto your wall, I just hope it doesn’t cast a shadow shaped like his demonic junk.

Gargamel the gargoyle got gassy and gargled garlic in the great gazebo with Gonzo the ghost guest. I just had to type that. No reason. Glad I got that out of my system. Now my brain will have room for other more important stuff. Despite his glowing nether regions on this lamp, it’s a pretty cool piece of interior frighting. You guy readers should get one. Because every Gar-boy needs a Gar-goyle! I totally nailed that one! Usually I just staple gun it. Or even thumb tack it.