Awww. Look how cute the Cosmo Sock Alien Plush is. So adorable. Look at those hearts on their bodies. Hearts mean love. So when they forage around your fecal fortress with their special probes, they’re just loving on you. Hmmm. I guess that applies to some humans too. Don’t be fooled by these cute plushies. Aliens are dangerous! Never forget! I don’t even wear clean underwear anymore or wipe myself, cuz if they come for me, they’re gonna find a nasty surprise! Surprise alien mofos! Either clean me up or toss me back! Preferably both.
Tag: gift
Macabre Home Decor – Mini Skull Knobs Set
This Mini Skull Knobs Set is perfect for anyone who loves morbid decor. They will turn your cabinets, drawers, and other things into a frightfest. They will turn your home into a house of horrors. A mausoleum of mayhem. A mansion of the macabre. You get the idea. There’s nothing cooler than grabbing a skull to open a cabinet. Except maybe finding another skull in that cabinet.
Nightmare Before Christmas Jewelry Box
Welcome to my nightmare. What kind of nightmare? A Nightmare Before Christmas of course. It’s March biatch! Speaking of bad dreams, check out this Nightmare Before Christmas Jewelry Box. Oooo la la. So Tim Burton! This cool accessory stands 16 inches tall, but it will stand much taller in your heart.
Life Size Alien Chestburster Statue
Check out this Life Size Alien Chestburster Statue.
Oh man, I don’t feel so good. Must have been something I ate. I think I’m just gonna lie down over- AHHHHHHH! Something’s ripping up my insides and for once it’s not a fart. OH GOD! OH GOD! *Alien bursts out of my chest* Are you as surprised to see me as I am to see you? Cool. Technically you’re my kid you know. I just gave birth to you. And I want to thank you for being considerate enough to not burst out of my rectum. *Kisses his slimy head, then it bites my face off*
Dinner With Ghosts – Ouija Board Table
This Ouija Board Table is perfect for any evening when you want to have dinner and a seance. In any order you prefer. Make sure you drink some spirits with your meal. Just don’t drink real spirits. That’s called possession. Which is nine-tenths of the law, but also a horrifying ordeal. So don’t do it. Also make sure you hover the planchette over GOODBYE after every meal, when you get up. It’s just good manners.