Tag: goth

Gothic Coffin Coin Purse

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Gothic Coffin Coin Purse
Some of you Goths are starting to get up there in age. It happens. Well, now you can be that cool old lady with the spider and death tattoos who carries this Gothic Coffin Coin Purse and takes forever to pay. I’ll be the guy further back in line making the comment about how Stevie Nicks didn’t age so well. Feel free to step back and punch me. What do you mean Stevie Nicks isn’t goth? Oh well. Goth, Gypsy… It’s all the same to me as long as you keep those caravans off my lawn and don’t steal any of the neighborhood children.

That reminds me of a good joke. What kind of computer does Stevie Nicks have? A PC? Nope. A Mac. A Fleetwood Mac. I’m a riot. That’s probably why the cops show up so often.
Read more “Gothic Coffin Coin Purse”

Skeleton Zipper Hoodie In White Bones And Red Bones

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Skeleton Zipper Hoodie In White Bones And Red Bones
Check out these awesome Skeleton Zipper Hoodie In White Bones And Red Bones. I’ll get the white one and you get the red one, then we’ll be in rival skeleton gangs. I’ll call my gang the Fractured Tibias and you can call yours the Raging Red Skulls. I’ll always lose cuz my bones are brittle, but I promise I’ll always put up a good fight. I’m scrappy like that. SCRAPPY. Man, I’m getting pumped! Did you just flash gang signs at me? Oh, cool. Respect my bony brotha from anotha skeleton motha. We all good!
Read more “Skeleton Zipper Hoodie In White Bones And Red Bones”

Scary Skeleton And Skull Ring

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Scary Skeleton And Skull Ring
Ahh look at the cute little Scary Skeleton And Skull Ring clinging to the finger. He’s all like, “You are my human. Mine. Never gonna give up this finger.” Crazy, creepy, cool. Wait, what? What do ya mean it looks like he’s dry-humping? Nah, he wouldn’t do that. Shut your mouth! Call it Skully and it will call you Mulder. You can both solve X-Files together and have all kinds of conspiracy fueled adventures. You can be the true believer and Skully will be the skeptic.

I like it because when you give someone the finger, it means so much more when you have a skeleton ring along for the ride. I’d be flipping people off and Skully would be on my finger, all like, “Yeah, I endorse this.”
Read more “Scary Skeleton And Skull Ring”

Skull Full Of Souls Box

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Skull Full Of Souls Box
This Skull Full Of Souls Box is a great place to keep all of your trinkets, candy,dice, whatever. Tormented souls are all over thing thing. Kinda like this blog. *Rim shot* Nah. I love ya all even if you do have problems. And I’m saying that wearing a sequinned dress made out of meat as I kick back glass after glass of whiskey.

Don’t judge. Not my fault I Quantum Leap all over the place. Once I set stuff right, I’m outta here. Today was “Try a sequinned dress made out of meat” day. Still haven’t leaped. Running out of ideas. F Lady Gaga anyway. *Falls and breaks neck.*

*Blue light everywhere. Leaping! I’m leaping!*

Oh THATS what needed to be set right!
Read more “Skull Full Of Souls Box”

Bat Wing Heart Necklace: Batman Approves

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Bat Wing Heart Necklace
Here’s one from “Bat” Midler. Did you ever know that you’re my hero? You are the wind beneath my wings. And that wind smells rancid. But that’s only because you had tacos today, so I totally get it. I love you anyway. Here, have this awesome Bat Wing Heart Necklace. Because you’ve flown away with my heart, then taken it back to your bat cave and nibbled on it while hanging upside down and pooping bat poop all over the cave floor.

If bats hang upside down to sleep, do they ever have nightmares and poop all over themselves? Probably. Bats aren’t very smart. Anywho, this awesome necklace makes a great gift for the bat lover in your life. Who doesn’t love bats? I love bats. You love bats. Baseball players are always talking about ’em too. We are all batty for bats.
Read more “Bat Wing Heart Necklace: Batman Approves”