Coffin Case For Sunglasses, Eyeglasses, or Pens

Coffin Case For Sunglasses, Eyeglasses, or Pens
Is this an eyeglass case or a die-glass case? Well, this Coffin Case is perfect for your sunglasses, eyeglasses, or pens and such. I like to throw a bit of dirt in every time I put my glasses in and close it, then say a comforting word or two, hand on heart. It is basically the perfect accessory for vampires and undertakers. We love it. I need this cuz the future’s so bright… I gotta wear shades!
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Unwrap These Cool Mummies Playing Cards

Mummies Playing Cards
Oh man, I’m about to get wrapped up in this card game. Cuz of these awesome Mummies Playing Cards. Perfect for poker nights in your ancient tomb. So open up some ancient sarcophaguses and play a game with your own mummy or mummies. If you can handle all of their groaning and moaning. C’mon, how bad can it be being wrapped up in toilet paper? It isn’t like it was already used toilet paper. Damn. Check out that cool art.
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Bury Your Stuff In This Coffin Crossbody Bag

Coffin Crossbody Bag
It is better to wear a Coffin Crossbody Bag than to be in one. That’s my motto. Plus you get to make all kinds of funny jokes to your friends like: “This is where all of the bodies are buried”. That’s a real knee-slapper there. This leather bag is perfect for a night out on the town or a night traipsing through a cemetery. It’s a tomb for your lipstick and stuff. A mausoleum for your makeup. A resting place for the supplies for your face.

Dragon Head Flats

Dragon Head FlatsAside from being an awesome band name, Dragon Head Flats are these cool shoes with dragons on them. Also sounds like a place with dragon skulls everywhere. “Hey man, I’ll race ya at dragon head flats!” I am so there. Sadly, these shoes don’t breath fire so you ladies are just gonna have to settle for the old fashioned “kicking us in the balls” when we misbehave, which is a lot. Cuz I’ll probably piss you off with puns like:

Hey you are really draggin’ today. Are you the mother of dragons? Cool, cuz I wanna be the dad.

Stuff like that, cuz I’m what they call an arsehole in the UK and an A-hole everywhere else. Sweet dragons though. You need like dragon print leggings to go with these. See? I offered a good tip. I’m not a complete A-hole. More like a B-Hole cuz I was never an A student, unless I was saying, “Aaaa this sucks.” which it did.

Gothic Bats Wrapping Paper

Gothic Bats Wrapping Paper
Sweet gift! Awesome Gothic Bats Wrapping Paper! What’s inside? Is it bats? Guano? Both? A baseball BAT? BAT-teries? A BATman toy? A plush womBAT? A BATTY Crocker cookbook? I’m so excited. I love a good gift. I’m gonna tear it open okay? Cool. Here goes. *Rippppp* Oh sweet. It’s BAT WRAPPING PAPER, which was wrapped in Bat wrapping paper. Now I’m gonna go wrap up everything I own so it looks cool. Then I’m gonna double upon my meds cuz sometimes that’s fun too. K bye.