Tag: halloween

Black Bat Gemstone Pendant

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Black Bat Gemstone Pendant
This Black Bat Gemstone Pendant looks pretty awesome. Give it as a gift to someone you are batty about. It is so classy and so batty that I’m squealing like a bat. Really I am, you just can’t hear me. You also can’t smell that fresh load of guano I just unleashed cuz I was so excited and couldn’t contain my bat-bowels. No worries, I promise to re-enact the whole thing when this blog goes VR and smell-o-vision, which will probably be about 2025. Wooo-hooo! I have at least that long to go without deodorant before anyone notices. Hey, why do all the house plants keep dying? Just one of life’s mysteries I guess.

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Engraved Spider Web Votive Candle Holders

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Engraved Spider Web Votive Candle Holders
Light a candle and set a creepy mood with these Engraved Spider Web Votive Candle Holders. Or you can use some plain glass candle holders and set a crappy mood. Your choice. These are perfect for Halloween or any old time. I like to use them, cuz it reminds me that I’m never safe from spiders and if they crawl in these webs, they are gonna burn up. So they are a trap. I’m pretty sure they are dumb enough to do it too. I mean I burnt my hands on Hot Pockets a ton of times and I still haven’t learned.

Candle light, spider web light. What’s the dif?

Scary Sexy Bat Hair Bow Clip Is So Sexy

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Scary Sexy Bat Hair Bow ClipI love a girl with bats in her belfry. Crabs in her crabshack, not so much cuz you need special creams and stuff to stop the itching. But yeah, this Bat Hair Bow Clip looks sexy. Like you are a servant of some vampire. I’ll let ya bite my neck just as long as you leave a hickey, so everyone can see proof that I scored or almost scored. And that moment when you grab this bat hair bow and let it loose? Letting your hair flow down as you shake it free? Oh man. I am so turned on right now. Then the bat will fly off and we will live happily ever after. You’ll nag me about my healthy eating of course and my drinking at 5 AM, and the donuts, not to mention the fact that I just lay there scratching and farting and don’t look for a job, but I know we are going to be so happy together. That’s why I got you this ring. I love you. Was that too soon? Should I have waited?

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Universal Monsters Horror Movie Bookmark

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Universal Monsters Horror Movie Bookmark
Never lose your page in your book again thanks to this Universal Monsters Horror Movie Bookmark. It has the Wolfman, Dracula, Frankenstein and the Bride. It’s all fancy and classy since it is made of wood and bonus: If a Vampire attacks while you are reading, you can stake it in the heart with this bookmark, then go back to reading. I wouldn’t recommend reusing it after that though. Maybe just leave it there in the Vampire’s chest. It goes great with this cool journal.

Gothic Spider Web Pencil Skirt For Black Widows

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Gothic Spider Web Pencil Skirt
You’re looking good in that Gothic Spider Web Pencil Skirt girl, but you know what it’s missing? Me. Along came a spider and sat down beside her. *Sits down next to you* What do ya say you and I roll around in that web and make a little cocoon? You’re not a Black Widow are ya? Not gonna bite my head off after? How about I bite your head off before and do the world a favor? Fair enough. I like that girl in the Spider Web Cardigan better anyway. Laterz.

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