The best part of waking up…is embalming fluid in your cup… I wouldn’t try that actually, but this Embalming Fluid Coffee Mug is pretty awesome. When you’re feeling post mortem, grab a cup of coffee and resurrect yourself. Be pre mortem. Sweet!
Tag: halloween
Monster UV reactive mask
Holy shizz this guy is ugly. This Monster UV reactive mask is gonna be the perfect way to terrorize my neighbors. UV stands for ultra venereal, which as we all know, makes you glow like a radioactive freak and spreads from your weiner to your face. Huh? Ultra Violet? What the hell is that? Is that like Blu-Ray? Cuz I’m still rockin’ the VHS tapes.
Spiderweb Lace Bra
Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive! Cuz you told me you were a C cup! It’s cool. We’re good. It’s all webbing under the boob bridge now. Anyway, this Spiderweb Lace Bra is scary and sexy. I never understood why women need so many bras. I mean, do you really need a bra for doing push ups? What I don’t know about bras could fill a book. That’s cuz I still haven’t cracked Victoria’s secret. Know what I mean bra?
Undead Zombie Hands Ring
Any zombies in the house? Raise your hands! You in the back. Your hand just fell off. Some skin on your cheek too. Show of zombie hands, who wants this awesome Undead Zombie Hands Ring? Umm, look it’s hard to count you guys when your limbs keep falling off. And some of you are raising some hands that have already fallen off of other people. Some of you are raising feet. Whatever. I lost count. It’s really not worth it. Just wanted to show you all this cool ring, but half of you don’t have a ring finger. Guy in back who just raised a weiner in the air, I know the difference between a finger and a dinger! You guys are gross. I’m out.
Voodoo Top Hat And Staff
This Voodoo Top Hat And Staff is sweet. Makes me want to twirl that hat and bounce it on my head as I shake the staff and kick into a musical number. That’s the kind of voodoo I’d do, but who do voodoo when you can just watch Hulu? With a fellow named Sulu? Or Cthulu? I have no idea, but that’s actually a good question. I’ll think on it while I’m wearing my cool Voodoo pimp-daddy hat. Smoking my fine cigar and stroking my python. I know that sounds wrong, but stroking your python is so fun you don’t wanna stop. With this hat you can get away with it. Stroke it all day if ya want. No one’s gonna tell you to stop.