I need another skull decoration around here like I need a sword in the head. But I do need a Steampunk Skull Jewelry Box with a sword in the head. Everyone come to my house. The first person to pull the sword from the skull shall be king. Oh hell, that came away really easy. Oh well. Feel free to rule over my entire kingdom. *Looks around at my filthy hovel.* Hey, where’d ya go? Fine, I’ll continue being king, but I’m going to war with all of you.
Tag: horror
Universal Monsters Coffin Coasters
Put some whiskey on the wolfman. These Universal Monsters Coffin Coasters will protect your furniture from your drinks. Cuz your drinks are monsters to your furniture. These coasters feature wolfman, Dracula, Frankenstein’s monster and the Creature from the Black Lagoon. Put your drink on the coffin, then take off your hat and say a little prayer. May it rest in peace. Amen. Now may it rest in my belly.
Cool Skull Backpack
This Skull Backpack is pretty sweet. I wouldn’t wear it to school though. You know why? You’ll get school-iosis. Get it? That’s a bone disease caused by too much school. What I like about this backpack is that you can tell it to zip it’s lip and it will. Zip it Skull! If you don’t zip it, I will! This thing looks badass. If the world ever goes Mad Max, I’m sporting a mohawk and wearing this thing and driving a crazy car while screaming gibberish. It’s a dream of mine.
Ouija Board Panties
So you and the wife are wearing your Ouija Board Panties and getting ready to “summon some spirits” when your kid bursts through the door. Mommy, daddy, what are you doing? Well, you see son. When a man loves a woman very much, he eases his planchette across her board, until you hit just the right spot. That would be when your mother yells YES YES YES. Now get out of here and if you hear stuff banging around, it’s just some paranormal activity. Lock the door on your way out. Now where were we? Still in the mood babe? No? What do you mean GOODBYE? God Dammit!
Great Horror Movie Villains Paper Dolls Book
Who needs VR when you are playing with this Great Horror Movie Villains Paper Dolls Book and you start getting paper cuts cuz Freddy and his buddies are slashing at you. Shizz just got real. Oh yeah Freddy? How about I put your doll in the fireplace? Or get a paper dollhouse and make you roomates with that chick from the Misery movie? How you like that? Ow! You little- That’s it! No more paper dolls for me. I’m locking you all up together so you can kill each other. Once the feeling returns to my hands!