Is it a book or a wallet? It’s both. A Frankenstein Book Wallet. Book ’em Franky! Now you can keep all of your important stuff in this wallet that looks like a book. That way no one will steal your stuff, cuz people don’t read anymore. In fact, I don’t even know what this book is about. I just call books paper movies that I will never see. No, I’m not Ill-literate. That means a sick person who reads. How dare you excuse me of fancy book learning.
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Tag: horror
Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees Piggy Banks – This Little Piggy Went Kill, Kill, Kill
Horror pigs! Pigs of horror! These Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees Piggy Banks from PigPatrol are a great way to save your money. This little piggy went to Elm Street. This little piggy went to Camp Crystal Lake. Both wallowed around in s**t and eventually got cut up for bacon, but that’s another story. You know what Jason piggy says? “Oink oink oink. Snort snort snort.”
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Skeleton Hands Napkin Holder
Everybody put your skeleton hands together for this Skeleton Hands Napkin Holder. It uses both hands to hold your napkins and looks like it is doing so while raising out of a tar pit. When it has no napkins to hold, it just looks like it’s getting ready to clap. Stop giving yourself a hand and give me a napkin already Skeletor! Thanks! High five! No, stop clapping. No more! Stop! Why do you keep giving me the clap?
That came out wrong. I don’t have the clap. You… Stop having the clap. That someone gave you. Shut your stupid claptrap!
Gross Eyeball Pen
This Gross Eyeball Pen is nasty. The problem is that it sees everything you write. You won’t have any secrets when you use this pen. You write something it doesn’t like, then it’s gonna eyeball you. It seems to have some festering blisters on it too. Yeah you ugly eyeball pen. I bet you show it a mirror and it wrecks its ugly self. I’m gonna make a special single sunglass for this thing. It will never look cool, but this will help.
Nightmare on Elm Street Playing Cards
One two, Freddy’s raising you. Three four, better bid some more. Five six, and all that stuff, you will die if you call Freddy’s bluff… And that’s a typical game of poker with Freddy. Now you can deal him into any card game thanks to these sweet Nightmare on Elm Street Playing Cards. I got a full house, Freddy high. I got a straight. Straight up killer! I gotta flush. No, really, I forgot to flush when I used the bathroom last time. Be right back.