Tag: horror

Edible Dracula Coffin Cookies

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Edible Dracula Coffin Cookies
These Edible Dracula Coffin Cookies look delicious. I would buy ’em if I had the dough. Also would bake ’em if I had the dough. Which I dough not.

*Hack* *Hack* *Wretch* *Coughs all over a sheet of freshly baked cookies.*

You okay man? You sound like you’re hacking up a lung.

I’m fine. Just making some coughin’ cookies. Can’t make ’em without coughin’. *Looks at the recipe.* Ohhhhhhh. I see what I did wrong. Coffin, not coughin’! Oh well, everybody eat up. You might as well call in sick for work tomorrow right now. Patient zero is in the kitchen!

Update: These are cookie toppers. Not cookies. Cuz I’m a hungry idiot.

Ladies of Horror Art Print Set

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Ladies of Horror Art Print Set
Time for some ladies of horror. And I’m not just talking about a meeting with my ex wives. That’s scheduled for lunch. I’m talking about this cool Ladies of Horror Art Print Set. Hmmmm. You know, they kinda all look like my ex wives. Except that these art prints are not yelling at me and screaming. This pleases me. I may just hang these on the wall and pretend I’m still married to them all like a nutty horror-mormon. They are so much easier to live with now. I think we’ll all be very happy.
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Toad Horror Art Doll is Both Toady and Grody

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Toad Horror Art Doll is Both Toady and Groady
Hey toady. You grody. To the max! This Toad Horror Art Doll is what happens when you think you’re a princess kissing a frog, but really you’re kissing a nasty toad. Hate when that happens. Look at that face honey child! I done toad you it was fugly. That tadpole turned a tad ugly. At least she’s all dressed up to meet a nice young man. Even though she never will. You can’t win if you don’t play.

Speaking of which, these scratch off tickets really suck. I’m almost at the end of this brick of 500 and I’m still broker than an ugly toad girl. I’m playing! I should win! WTF universe! WTF!? I don’t want to be writing this blog forever and looking at Princess Toadstool over here! She looks like toad stool alright!
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Scream Ghostface Necklace Pendant

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Scream Ghostface Necklace Pendant
This Scream Ghostface Necklace Pendant is a real scream. I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream. In my case, I’m screaming cuz I don’t have any. Just checked the freezer. I also cried for a half hour, but I’m too lazy to go to the store. So basically, I feel like this guy looks. If I did have ice cream, it wouldn’t have a ghost of a chance of lasting more than an hour.

But I digress. Just sayin’ this pendant is pretty damn cool.

Freddy Krueger Baby Soap

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Freddy Krueger Baby Soap
1, 2, Freddy’s scrubbin’ on you. 3, 4, better lather some more. 5, 6, better clean your d**k. Like a lot of this stuff, I have no idea what this Freddy Krueger Baby Soap is all about. No wonder Freddy went nuts. Can you imagine being a little soap baby and having to wash everyone’s privates? Gettin’ pubes all over you? I would turn into a freaky killer too. Freaky.
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