This is a cool Gothic Spider Web Shelf, but I already have one. You know how I got it? I just don’t dust. That’s probably why I also have a Gothic mantle of dead bugs and a Gothic refrigerator with mold behind it. Do you think spiders will be drawn to this shelf? I would be if I were a spider. A pre-fab web already built, so I don’t have to wear out my spider-butt spinning silk? Sign me up.
Tag: horror
Cthulhu Fireside Companion Set
This Cthulhu Fireside Companion Set is a set of cool tools for your fireplace. Probably forged by a blacksmith with some Cthulhu tentacle slime to give it magical properties. It is a “set”, not an actual “Cthulhu Fireside Companion”, cuz trust me, that doesn’t work.
Thanks for being my companion as I sit by the fire, Cthulhu. Hey, stop squirming. I know you barely fit in that chair, what with your butt-tentacles and all, but damn, sit still. What do you mean it’s too hot in here? Okay, so your skin is drying out. Put on some moisturizer. Damn, stop complaining and just enjoy an evening by the fire! You know something? You are not a good fireside pal!
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Team Hell All-Star Horror Team Print
What team are you rooting for? *Shrugs* I dunno. Team hell? This fun print features all of your favorite horror psychos and villains like they are a Soccer team or something. Team Hell. If they win, that’s where you’re going. It features Michael Myers, Freddy Krueger, Jason, Pinhead, Scream, Chucky, Jigsaw and Leatherface.
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Creepy Kitchen Towel Set
Man, this is a dark Creepy Kitchen Towel Set. I don’t own any towels cuz I mostly use my shirt for a towel, but if I owned these, I would wait until a guest used them and say stuff like, “Leave and never darken my towels again.” Or “So you throw in the towel eh? I win again! Best of three?” Towels are fun. They’re towel-toly awesome! Don’t towel anyone I said so.
You get a heart, a skull and a raven. Wait that’s a crow. I think I just ate crow.
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Cool Miniature Tombstones
These miniature tombstones are apparently for really tiny people. RIPman. RIP. If I had a tiny hat I would tip it and hold it to my heart. But I don’t. So instead, I’m pouring out some liquor for my tiny homies. Oh s**t, here comes the wife!
Were you just pouring liquor all over my tiny tombstones that are in the dirt for my potted plant?
Just honoring the homies. Don’t be a hater! Besides liquor makes plants grow quicker. Everybody knows that. Except for that shriveled up plant in the corner. That one couldn’t hold it’s liquor. What a pansie! Get it? Oh s**t, put down that vase!
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