Tag: jewelry

Real Insect Jewelry: Beetle Necklaces

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Real Insect Jewelry Beetle Necklaces
Check out these Beetle Necklaces. These beetles are pretty colorful. Apparently they are also called Weevils, because God forbid you have one easy word for an insect. Stupid scientists and bug nerds!

Evel Knievel was an evil weevil who liked to paint on an easel, and everyone thought he was a weasel. Yay! I made words rhyme. I’m just awesome like that. Did I do good? Can I have a treat daddy? Since I am my own daddy, I say yes. I may have a bag of Cheetos. Awesome. I love you daddy. I know.

Much like the Beatles when wearing Sgt. Pepper uniforms, these beetles are all bright and colorful. And just like two of the four Beatles, these beetles are stuck in their own little coffins for eternity. If I was a Beatle, it would be Paul. Because the Walrus was Paul. Later peeps. There’s a bag of Cheetos with my name on them. Probably because I take a sharpie to the supermarket and autograph everything.
Read more “Real Insect Jewelry: Beetle Necklaces”

Wood Ouija Board Planchette Necklace

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Wood Ouija Board Planchette Necklace
Well looky here. You are gonna be a regular Cate Planchette when you wear this Wood Ouija Board Planchette Necklace. Now all you have to do is tattoo a Ouija board to your chest, I’ll ask the spirit world some questions, put my fingers on the planchette and get some answers from the other side. What do you say? I’m thinking this is the only way I get to stare at and rub a chest for an extended period of time. All in an effort to contact loved ones on the other side of course. That’s all. No other motives. Hey, don’t judge me. You already had that thing around your neck.

Cool Bat Collar Pin

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Cool Bat Collar Pin
Bats are really the ultimate accessory. How else else are ya gonna keep your collar closed? Bat wings are perfect for the job. This Bat Collar Pin is fashionable and squeak. I mean chic. Squeak chic.

Bats, bats, they’re right under your nose. Bats, bats, they’re all over our clothes. Put ’em on your belt, put ’em on your collar. Don’t have a bat? Give a bat a holler. Send a bat away and he’ll bring bat a dollar.

This bat-related article brought to you by too much alcohol and not enough common sense.

Chucky Necklace Relief Pendant

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Chucky Necklace Relief Pendant
Hey Chucky! How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I have no idea. Frankly I don’t give a chuck. Check out this Chucky Necklace Relief Pendant. What a relief! Heh! Seriously this thing is creeping me out. If you ladies wear this near your chest ain’t no man grabbing at your jublees! Chucky is on guard. Protecting your boobies with a knife! For the record, I wouldn’t do that. It’s just rude. I would have to be a real boob to try something like that.

Chucky looks so realistic he’s scaring me. Is that real hair? That’s real hair isn’t it? Damn Chucky, nice haircut my brother.

Hauntingly Hand Painted Cameo Necklace Brooches

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Hauntingly Hand Painted Cameo Necklace Brooches
These creepy and cool Cameo Necklace Brooches want to make a cameo appearance on your neck. Get it? Each one is beautifully hand painted by an artist that can stay inside the lines better than I can, in my superhero coloring books. NeverGrowUpTreasures has all kinds of designs available. Mermaids, Zombie Girls, Zombies, Frankenstein Monsters and more. Even a dead Elvis. These cameos make a great gift.

Thanks Nevergrowuptreasures. I ain’t never growin’ up. That’s why I park my big wheel in the garage and drive my scooter to work. I tried once and I just can’t adult. Not today, not ever.
Read more “Hauntingly Hand Painted Cameo Necklace Brooches”