Tag: life sized

Life-Size Posable Corpse

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

lifesize corpse
Please mother. Stop arguing with me. I will find a nice girl soon. You haven’t even touched your dinner. Not again mother! Why must you always fall out of your chair? You are so tense and stiff as a board. Yes, mother. Yes I will look for another victim today. Stop laughing. *Covers ears* Stop laughing at me! I’m a good boy! A good boy! Your good boy will bring home another victim and you’ll see.

2 months later…

I tricked you mother! You are now for sale on Etsy. Once they buy you I will never have to hear your nagging again! Besides, I need more time with dad. Even though all he does is drink. Now where is he hiding? Oh yeah. That’s right. Mom! Where’s the shovel?
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Life Sized Gremlins Will Make A Mess Of Your Home

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

life sized gremlinsEtsy seller Lilitecreation offers several life sized Gremlins that you can buy, so that they can mess up your house and throw a party. You can get Mohawk, Daffy and Lenny. What about that Professor guy from Gremlins 2? He was the craziest therapist ever.

They will cost you between $310. to $470. I can wreck my house for much cheaper on my own thank you, but these guys are pretty awesome. This is what happens when you feed stuff after midnight. The consequences are much worse than some farts under the sheets and a stomach ache, which is what happens when I eat after midnight.

Build Your Own Human Skeleton Book

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

build your own skeletonMake your own bony life sized companion with this cool Build Your Own Human Skeleton Book. I’m gonna call mine Bones for obvious reasons.

This is an awesome cardboard/paper model. Perfect for Medical students who are lonely, because it is basically an instant friend. It comes with labels so you can identify the different bones too. I just ordered mine. Gonna make a trip to the grocery store, buy like 40 pounds of steak and slap some meat on those bones. Then, during the next lightning storm, I’m bringing this thing to life. Get your torches and pitchforks ready.
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