Miniature Alchemist’s Potion Cupboard

Miniature Alchemist's Potion Cupboard
Fun fact: For years I thought that an alchemist was just a chemist named Al. Now I know better and I don’t go referring to chemists with their first name followed by the word chemist. Oh, hi Ted-chemist. How are you Chad-Chemist? Sup Fred-Chemist? Anyway, this Miniature Alchemist’s Potion Cupboard is perfect for pint sized chemical enthusiasts.

I’m not getting it though. Last time I had something like this displayed, a couple of mice studied the art of chemistry and created some toxic knockout gas, putting me to sleep and taking all my stuff.

Okay, fine. That’s just my way of saying I farted. Then fell asleep and got robbed.

Gothic Vampire Hunter’s Dollhouse

Gothic Vampire Hunter's Dollhouse
Sweet! Now I have a place for my vampire hunting dolls. What? Of course Ken can be a Vampire hunter. He’s gotta do something when Barbie is home all day acting like a diva. Check out the video below. This Gothic Vampire Hunter’s Dollhouse is fully decorated and ready for your dolls to move in. If it was bigger, I would move in. And be the best damn Vampire hunter I could be. Which is easy cuz there’s no Vampires here. Already did my job! Cuz I rock.
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Realistic Miniature Human Skull Bottle Stopper

Realistic Miniature Human Skull Bottle Stopper
This Realistic Miniature Human Skull Bottle Stopper will keep your beverages fresh. Fresh and creepy. Bottle stopper? A heart stopper, that’s what he is. Look at how cute he is. He’s got a nice set of choppers on him too, for a dead guy. Can you put him on a wine bottle? Of corpse you can. What about a soda bottle? Yep! No bones about it. Need to keep your drink from going flat? Just pop old bone-face here on your bottle and if you’re drunk enough he may even have a conversation with you. He’s pretty foul-mouthed though, so be careful.

Miniature Necronomicon Book Pendant

Miniature Necronomicon Book Pendant
Wear this Miniature Necronomicon Book Pendant around your neck and summon some monsters and stuff. I tried that once, but the only thing I summoned was a big wet fart. Pro tip: Never mess around with this book. I thought it was a Necro-NOM-icon, as in om nom nom nom this cake is so good. Turns out it was not a cookbook. My mistake. I just wanted to summon a giant Oreo with stuffing the size of a backyard pool. I got that alright! I also got a giant tentacled monster from hell who was eating it.

Miniature Gold Toilet With Opening Lid Necklace

Miniature Gold Toilet With Opening Lid Necklace
This is the kind of bling I’m looking for. A Miniature Gold Toilet With Opening Lid Necklace. I bet it even has a little diamond poop inside too. I always wanted a gold toilet, so I could show it to all the peeps on MTV cribs when they come to check out my sweet Hollywood mansion. Obviously that never happened, but at least I can wear this cool gold commode and pretend.

Toilet bling. That’s what I’m talking about. Now do I put the picture of a loved one inside the lid or someone I hate?