Taxidermied Mice Having A Seance

Taxidermied Mice Having A Seance
These Taxidermied Mice Having A Seance are doing it all wrong. The dead don’t try to raise the living. Well, there was that one time I was playing poker with a zombie. He raised and went all in. Sucker. I cleaned up, took my winnings and hit the restroom for a royal flush.

Look at these guys with their little tarot cards and occult objects. Too bad they aren’t alive, cuz then I could call one of them Alistair Crawley. Get it? Cuz he’d be crawling all over the place.
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Now You Can Really Play The World’s Smallest Violin

Now You Can Really Play The World's Smallest Violin
Complain, complain, complain! Let me play the world’s smallest violin. That’s right. It really exists and I’m really playing it. Now listen as it provides the proper ambiance and atmosphere for your whining.

You’re really playing it.

That’s right.

I thought that was just a saying.

It was. Now it’s a real thing, because I’m awesome. It sounds amazing. *Snap.* Nuts! Broke a string. Now I gotta find the world’s smallest violin repairman.

Mad Scientist 1:12 Miniature Laboratory Set

Miniature Laboratory Set
Sweet. A Mad Scientist 1:12 Miniature Laboratory Set. For very tiny Mad Scientists. Why are scientists so mad anyway? Probably because they have to wear lab coats all the time and can’t rock a fancy sweater-vest or UFO Jacket.

I’m buying it. That way if someone ever shrinks me down, I have a lab already set up and can make a potion to make me big again. *Knocks back a test tube full of blue junk.* Glug glug glug. It’s working! It’s working! *Head braeks through the ceiling. Stuck there. Looks around at the roof and birds and stuff.*

Good thing I’m prepared. Ordered another set to keep on the roof in case of exactly this kind of emergency. Now where’d it go. I- Da Fuq? Get away from that lab, squirrel! Is that meth? Oh sh*t. It’s all methed up and coming for me.
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Crazy Dollhouse Miniature Halloween Food

dollhouse halloween food
Etsy seller PiccoliSpazi makes Halloween food dishes for your dollhouse. As if you playing with dolls at your age isn’t creepy enough.*Quickly hides my Star wars action figures. You’re crazy. Why would I make Luke and Leia kiss. Never happened.* You can choose from all kinds of crazy and scary dishes like fingers, eyes, brains and more. Barbie and Ken are eating good in da neighborhood.

If I show up at your dollhouse in a costume, can I get candy from that house? Hopefully some Kit-Kats? Cool. I’ll be right over! I’ll bring Barbie’s cousin Stacy and we can play all night. So what if I know who Barbie’s cousin is. I’m still manly. Kinda.
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RIP NWO Miniature Dollhouse Illuminati Tombstone

RIP NWO Miniature Dollhouse Tombstone
It’s never too early to indoctrinate your dolls into the world of the Illuminati. This RIP NWO Miniature Dollhouse Illuminati Tombstone will help.

I’m confused. Are their plans for a New World Order dead? Or is it saying “Rest In Peace” because the New World Order has arrived? Either way, the Illuminati will be watching your dolls with that all-seeing-eye. *Makes triangle symbol with hands.*

My work here is done.