Tag: novelty

Satan’s Cheerleaders Dress

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Satan's Cheerleaders Dress
Hey look! Satan’s Cheerleaders Dress. Did you try out for the team? I know right! I was like, soooo in the finals, but my breasts just weren’t perky enough. Wanna go get a frappuchino and stare vacantly at nothing? K. Cool. What was I saying?

Ra-ra Shish-boom-ba! The devil’s gonna win so burn your bra.
Our teams hot cuz it’s from Hades,
You sold your soul for that brand new Mercedes.

I don’t know the rest. I’ll ask the coach. Also, that burn your bra line has nothing to do with with women’s rights. It just rhymed. I love what you’re doing up there. *Points at breasts* Whether they’re bound or unbound. You go girl.

Beetlejuice Handbook For The Recently Deceased Book

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Beetlejuice Handbook For The Recently Deceased Book
Welcome to the afterlife. Here’s a pamphlet and here’s a book. Just browse through this Beetlejuice Handbook For The Recently Deceased Book and you will have all of the answers, so you can enjoy your afterlife. I think. Maybe it shows you the recently deceased so you can identify them. Like a who’s who of who ain’t alive anymore. I have no idea. It’s been awhile since I saw the movie.

It’s a pretty cool replica. I hope my name isn’t in there. That means my whole life was the same plot as The Sixth Sense. I’m dead people. Oh man, now I have to have a look in that book. I’m scarred. No, not scarred. My skin is beautiful, I just can’t spell. I’m scared.
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T-Rex Toilet Paper Holder

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T-Rex Toilet Paper Holder
When I’m taking a Jurassic dump, I like to reach into the jaws of a mighty T-Rex to get my toilet paper. This awesome 3D printed T-Rex Toilet Paper Holder will make you roar! Of course that could just be the mighty roar of you battling your Stega-Sore-ass to get your stuff out. Seriously, fiber! I can’t stress that enough. Anywho, this TP holder will hook you up even if it’s coming out like a raging diarhea volcano. Which coincidentally is what killed the dinosaurs in the first place. True story. Mass (colon) extinction event! Look it up.
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Wood Ouija Board Planchette Necklace

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Wood Ouija Board Planchette Necklace
Well looky here. You are gonna be a regular Cate Planchette when you wear this Wood Ouija Board Planchette Necklace. Now all you have to do is tattoo a Ouija board to your chest, I’ll ask the spirit world some questions, put my fingers on the planchette and get some answers from the other side. What do you say? I’m thinking this is the only way I get to stare at and rub a chest for an extended period of time. All in an effort to contact loved ones on the other side of course. That’s all. No other motives. Hey, don’t judge me. You already had that thing around your neck.

Cool Bat Collar Pin

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Cool Bat Collar Pin
Bats are really the ultimate accessory. How else else are ya gonna keep your collar closed? Bat wings are perfect for the job. This Bat Collar Pin is fashionable and squeak. I mean chic. Squeak chic.

Bats, bats, they’re right under your nose. Bats, bats, they’re all over our clothes. Put ’em on your belt, put ’em on your collar. Don’t have a bat? Give a bat a holler. Send a bat away and he’ll bring bat a dollar.

This bat-related article brought to you by too much alcohol and not enough common sense.