Tag: novelty

Marceline The Vampire Queen’s Bass Axe

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Marceline The Vampire Queen's Bass Axe
I’ll never forget the first time I saw Adventure Time and heard that theme song, “Adventure Time, c’mon grab your friends..” Since I had none I had to grab a sock puppet and watch it with him. I called him Herbert. He smells like cheese. Anyway, this is Marceline The Vampire Queen’s Bass Axe.

It’s a pretty cool replica and I’m all about that bass. No treble! It looks like an official instrument in the Pepto Bismol battle of the bands. You thrash, you rock, you ease your indigestion and then play something soft.

Chucky Necklace Relief Pendant

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Chucky Necklace Relief Pendant
Hey Chucky! How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I have no idea. Frankly I don’t give a chuck. Check out this Chucky Necklace Relief Pendant. What a relief! Heh! Seriously this thing is creeping me out. If you ladies wear this near your chest ain’t no man grabbing at your jublees! Chucky is on guard. Protecting your boobies with a knife! For the record, I wouldn’t do that. It’s just rude. I would have to be a real boob to try something like that.

Chucky looks so realistic he’s scaring me. Is that real hair? That’s real hair isn’t it? Damn Chucky, nice haircut my brother.

People I Want To Punch In The Face Book

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People I Want To Punch In The Face Book
Oh look, it’s Facebook. People I Want To Punch In The Face Book! This handy notebook is a good place to write down all of the people’s names that you want to punch in da face! Let’s have a look inside and see if it comes with any names. *Opens it up*

Creepbay writer! Creepbay writer! Creepbay writer! I hate that guy! Creepbay writer! Creepbay writer! Creepbay writer!

Oh snap! That guy really wants to punch me. Yeah, well I’m gonna fill mine up with your name! What’s your name? Damn! *Doorbell rings. I walk over and answer* PUNCH!

OW! *Wakes up an hour later* I guess we’re good now. Unless somebody else has my name in this book. Come at me bro!

Mr And Mrs Frankenstein Knife Set

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Mr And Mrs Frankenstein Knife Set
This Mr And Mrs Frankenstein Knife Set is purely for decorative purposes, but it should read “In case of marital monster fight break glass”. That way Mr. and Mrs. monster can fight to the death. It probably turns them on. Monsters are weird like that.

You get two twin butcher knives that are hand painted with the likeness of Frankenstein and his bride, in a shadow box.
Read more “Mr And Mrs Frankenstein Knife Set”

The Addams Family Haunted Mansion Print

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The Addams Family Haunted Mansion Print
This Addams Family Haunted Mansion Print is based on the famous Disney Haunted Mansion stretch portraits. They’re creepy and they’re kooky. Mysterious and spooky. They’re altogether ooky. The Addams Family. The whole family is here in this cool print.

Fun fact: I’m writing a screenplay for a reboot. The hook? It’s Samuel Adams’ family. They make beer in colonial times and they are monsters. The daughters name is Tuesday instead of Wednesday. I was gonna call her Friday, but she never picked up. *rim shot* So what if I was a little inebriated when I wrote it? Alcohol is my muse. It’s also my mouthwash and my choice of cologne.