Tag: novelty

French Fry Bustier Bra Top

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french fry bustier
This French Fry Bustier Bra Top is awesome. Although these must be those flat cut steak fries. Clearly she didn’t say, “Super-size me!” and ordered a small.

Oddly, I have the urge to dump a basket of fries into a metal tray, salt it all up, scoop it all up in that metal minimum wage shovel that McDonalds workers use and slide them right down the middle of her fry-holder. But I’m weird like that.

Thanks for making me hungry fry-girl. Fry-girl is like a dream come true. She’s salty, hot and leaves me wanting more.

Armadillo Taxidermy Lamp

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Armadillo Taxidermy Lamp
Armadillo Lamp. For when you need an Armadillo and a lamp in one. It’s a lamp-adillo. A real fringe item. *Elbows you in the rib and points to the fringe.* Basically it’s a dead animal suspended for all time above a small burning sun, which would burn it’s insides if it had any left. Those are probably splattered all over some Texas highway.

Spent a week in Amarillo and met an Armadillo. Walked across the road and he got flat as a pillow. So I took him home and put him on the grill-o. Afterwards I cleaned it with a brillo. Pad.

I have no idea what I’m even typing. Bartender! Another drink. And no, I refuse to stop blogging in your establishment. Just lock up and I’ll find my own way flat onto my face. Same way you found me this morning.

Beer Bottle Wind Chimes

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beer bottle windchimes
Chime to drunk sim beer. I mean time to drunk sim beer.

How drunk did you have to get to hang up all of those Beer Bottle Wind Chimes?

I’m not drink. Juss like to hear da pretty music. Havin’ the chime o my life!

Yeah, but you realize that just getting from the driveway to your door sounds like a thunderstorm hitting a glass factory.

Don’t pay no nevermind and help me drink up another case. I got a tree out back that ain’t been beered yet!

Dog Pajamas: A Woof in Sheep’s Clothing

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dog sheep pajamas costume
Is your dog perpetually sleepy and also a nerd? Etsy seller RebelWag sells dog pajamas. For dogs. Like this sheep costume/pajama thing here. I’ve never bothered counting sheep at night, but then again, I’ve never had a dog that dressed like one.

Dammit Spot! That was too fast. Now try it again and this time jump over the bed slower so I don’t lose count. And bark when I say the number. I’m trying to fall asleep here. “One sheep.” woof! “Two sheep.” Woof……

Woof.

Shut up. Trying to sleep here. Lousy sheep-dog!
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Octopus Purse

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octopus purse
This felted Octopus Purse is perfect for the lady who needs 8 arms to hold all of her stuff. That’s all ladies. Am I right guys? *High five. Nobody’s gonna give my five? On the side? Way down low? Was I too slow?* Whatevs. If I had 8 arms I would be high-fiving myself all day long. I would pull away just before connecting and be all like, Haha sucker! Get it? Cuz I would have suckers on my arm. Burn!

Yeah, this purse is totally awesome. If I made these, I would totally call my company Octo Inc. Get it? Okay, I’ll escort myself out.
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