Tag: novelty

Classic Horror Stories Secret Mini Bar

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Classic Horror Stories Secret Mini Bar
Why do you always get drunk in the library? Shhhhhhhh. I read liqour-ra-ture. Like this Classic Horror Stories Secret Mini Bar. Don’t tells anybody. Let me go up to the bartender and shows you how is done. *Stumbles up to the librarian. Goes to sit down and falls due to lack of barstool. Rights myself. Touches my nose knowingly.*

I’ll take five fingers of Lovecraft on the rock-is. Get one of the shelf for you-self too pretty lady. What do ya mean, I’m cut off. I appear to be in one piece madam. Now my book if you will. I will say when I had enuf. *She hands me a copy of Tom Sawyer. I open it.* There’s milk in dis one. Why you cut a brother off- *snores and falls.*

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Miniature Mummy in a Coffin Decoration

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Miniature Mummy in a Coffin
I know what you are asking? Is this my mummy? It could be. This Miniature Mummy in a Coffin is going to look great on your desk or anywhere else. He’s miniature, but he has a big heart, so treat him right. Mummies get so wrapped up in their work. Like when you wear these mummy leggings to work. Brains! Brains! Oh man, I got that wrong didn’t I? Too much caffeine today. Don’t tell anyone. Mums the word. Those coffins they keep mummies in are pretty dusty. No wonder they call them a sar-cough-agus! And I’m outta here.

Weird 3D Puzzle Human Body Organ Game (With Background Music)

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Weird 3D Puzzle Human Body Organ Game (With Background Music)
Yeah, this game doesn’t seem weird at all. This won’t scar kids for life. This Weird 3D Puzzle Human Body Organ Game (With background music) teaches kids about the body and organ`s. Also teaches them that the world is gross. Here’s how you play: each person picks an organ card and puts the organ back into body. If it fits in the body, then turn to the next player, if it is wrong organ, lookout, the body starts trembling and you likely have a malpractice suit coming. All the organs fly out. Damn!

Here is an actual quote from the item page:

With sound and voice, horrible music creat a nervous atmosphere.

Now I’m sold. Though I’m not sure what creat means. It has music and body parts flying everywhere. Who wants to play with me? This goes well with these anatomical pint glasses. Have a drink while organs are flying.

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Meat and Potatoes Necklace – Dinner Is Served

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Meat and Potatoes Necklace - Dinner Is Served
I’m a meat and potatoes kind of guy, so basically I would be wearing dinner with this Meat and Potatoes Necklace around my neck. This here is a hungry man necklace! If I’m out and about and get hungry, Imma just rip off my necklace and have a snack. I wonder if I can get some broccoli with it. I’m trying to be healthier. And by healthier, I mean I have one less Snicker’s bar per day. Check out these meta socks too. Dress all in meat. That’s what I would do.

Skeleton Bones Bracelet

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Skeleton Bones Bracelet
*Looks at the skeleton* Damn son! What did you do to get all drawn and quartered on that wrist? No bones about it, you in trouble. Bent all backwards and looking like you’re screaming and going for a terrifying ride. Ladies, this is one hell of an accessory. Tells everyone you mean business. This Skeleton Bones Bracelet is a bone-a-fide hit. I would say it’s hip, but it’s more hip bone. I made a funny. Cuz I hit my funny bone.