These Wood Coffin Keychains are perfect for your car keys. If you drive a hearse. Also perfect for your house keys. If you live in a funeral home. Better “dead” bolt that door once you get inside though. Also perfect for those keys that you have that are no longer useful. In other words, keys that are dead to you. Ha. I could go on all day, but I’m late for therapy. Once I showed up and it was shock therapy. Cuz the therapist was so shocked I got there on time.
Tag: novelty
Needle Felted Tardigrades
I’m no scientist, but I have the Internet. That’s how I know that Tardigrades are nature’s microscopic and indestructible killing machines. Killing you with cuteness. What grade do I give this Tardigrade? B+. Would have earned an A+ except that it was tardi. See me after class.
FrivolousForest has 2 needle felted versions of this strange and majestic creature that looks like nature’s vacuum. Are they cute? Sure, but also kinda nightmare fuel. I may be biased though, ever since a gypsy told me that I would die at the hands of a tardigrade 50 years from now. Been waiting and watching for him. I’m ready! I hope it isn’t wearing lace like these guys!
Read more “Needle Felted Tardigrades”
Toast of the Zombie Goblet Set
Ohhhh toast of the Zombie! I’ll have mine with extra butter. Crisp, but not too crisp. Just a light smear of jelly on top just like my pap use to give me. In other words just a pap smear! Ewwww. I’m so wrong! I’m so gross! Get over it cupcake! This Toast of the Zombie Goblet Set lets the Zombie hands make a toast for you. Cuz everything is classier with Zombie hands. I said so!
Beware of Vampires and Zombies Pillows
Looks at my bed and notices the Beware of Vampires and Zombies Pillows. Looks under the bed, in the closet, out the window. Well hell, I don’t see either of those things,so I guess I’m safe. Gets in bed. Oh, it feels so warm and cozy. Vampire erupts from within my bed, followed by a Zombie. They stand there half out of my mattress and look at each other and then grab me so they can take me to their in-the-bed hell-world. WHY DID I NOT HEED THE WARNINGS?
Read more “Beware of Vampires and Zombies Pillows”
Nightmare Doll Head Orchid Planter
What the hell is growing out of that doll head? This Nightmare Doll Head Orchid Planter looks like it has a parasitic infection that is out of control. Probably possessing it and trying to take over the world. That is nasty! No wonder I like it. Just plant your plants in this thing and watch the roots grow out of its ever-loving head. Looks like a demented clown baby.