The Stones Have Eyes!

The Stones Have Eyes!
The Stones have eyes! Have you seen that movie? Me either, but now I know it’s true. Well, all of the Stones have eyes, it’s true, except Keith Richards, who is all robot now. Is it just me or do these rocks look slightly… stoned? Anyway, they look weird and cool and they have eyes. They are ready to rock! Granite, they can’t really see you, but they will look cool on your shelf. I thought I saw a cobweb on one. Does that mean they have web-site? So many rock jokes, so little time. Anywho, get yourself some cool rocks with eyes.

One final joke. How are these stones like a Camaro? Eye-roc. Get it? I’m so sorry…

Feel The Sting Of The Scorpion Skull Mirror

Sting Of The Scorpion Skull Mirror
This Sting Of The Scorpion Skull Mirror looks pretty cool. I’ll just freshen myself up here and comb my hair, while I scare myself senseless cuz A. That mirror is creepy and I see myself within the skull and B. That scorpion now appears to be crawling on my mirror-face. In other words, I love it. By the way, did you hear the one about the scorpion who became a director? His name is David Pincher. Ha ha ha ha ha.

Classy Cryptids – Mythical Creature Necklaces

Mythical Creature Necklaces
Buy one of these Mythical Creature Necklaces and give it to Bigfoot. That way a mythical creature will be wearing a mythical creature necklace. I just think that’s cool. This shop has Bigfoot, The Chupacabra and the Loch Ness Monster. We all know they are real though. I’ve had my own sightings. I’m not trying to convince you. Just stop being distracted. While you argue about politics on Facebook, there’s a Sasquatch squatting in your yard. Trust your instincts. That steaming pile ain’t from no dog.
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Sexy and Educational Anatomy Tights

Sexy and Educational Anatomy Tights
Damn girl! Your anatomy is looking tight in those anatomy tights! Sorry if I’m staring. I’m just trying to learn about the body. Mind if I rub my hand all over these images? I’m a very textile learner. What? Oh I meant tactile. Wait, did you smack me cuz I don’t know english or because I was being a perv? Doesn’t really matter at this point. What have I learned from this situation? Well, if I deciphered your tights correctly, I learned that you have a nice hippocampus and I’d really like to enroll there. No? I stand by my interpretation.

Your legs have given me much food for thought and now I’m off to other adventures.

Dead Birds On Vintage Serving Trays For Your Wall

Dead Birds On Vintage Serving Trays For Your Wall
Hmmmm. I have a dead bird and I also have a vintage tray. What kind of art project could I possibly make and throw up on Etsy? I know. I’ll stick the dead bird on the tray so that people can hang it on their wall. It’s quick and kinda Christ-like. The seller offers these Dead Birds On Vintage Serving Trays in either a silver or a gold tray. Pro tip: Looks best in trailers, right next to your gun rack and looks really great if you are living out of the inside of a U-Haul truck.
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