Tag: odd

Creepy As Hell – Broken Doll Halloween Mask

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Creepy Broken Doll Halloween Mask
Hey, that’s a cool mask. What is it? A Broken Doll Halloween Mask? Cool. Sure, I have change for the bus- Hang on. Whatchu mean Broken Doll? More like broke-ass doll. Get yer own damn bus change. What do I look like, a change machine? It is pretty damn creepy though. Stop looking at me with those blank eyes. Seriously, stop it. Okay, okay. Here’s some change. No, we’re all good. You get this bus. I’ll catch another one. *Watches as she boards bus. Watches as people scream and evacuate bus.* Damn, we all catch another bus!

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Engraved Spider Web Votive Candle Holders

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Engraved Spider Web Votive Candle Holders
Light a candle and set a creepy mood with these Engraved Spider Web Votive Candle Holders. Or you can use some plain glass candle holders and set a crappy mood. Your choice. These are perfect for Halloween or any old time. I like to use them, cuz it reminds me that I’m never safe from spiders and if they crawl in these webs, they are gonna burn up. So they are a trap. I’m pretty sure they are dumb enough to do it too. I mean I burnt my hands on Hot Pockets a ton of times and I still haven’t learned.

Candle light, spider web light. What’s the dif?

Scary Sexy Bat Hair Bow Clip Is So Sexy

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Scary Sexy Bat Hair Bow ClipI love a girl with bats in her belfry. Crabs in her crabshack, not so much cuz you need special creams and stuff to stop the itching. But yeah, this Bat Hair Bow Clip looks sexy. Like you are a servant of some vampire. I’ll let ya bite my neck just as long as you leave a hickey, so everyone can see proof that I scored or almost scored. And that moment when you grab this bat hair bow and let it loose? Letting your hair flow down as you shake it free? Oh man. I am so turned on right now. Then the bat will fly off and we will live happily ever after. You’ll nag me about my healthy eating of course and my drinking at 5 AM, and the donuts, not to mention the fact that I just lay there scratching and farting and don’t look for a job, but I know we are going to be so happy together. That’s why I got you this ring. I love you. Was that too soon? Should I have waited?

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Universal Monsters Horror Movie Bookmark

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Universal Monsters Horror Movie Bookmark
Never lose your page in your book again thanks to this Universal Monsters Horror Movie Bookmark. It has the Wolfman, Dracula, Frankenstein and the Bride. It’s all fancy and classy since it is made of wood and bonus: If a Vampire attacks while you are reading, you can stake it in the heart with this bookmark, then go back to reading. I wouldn’t recommend reusing it after that though. Maybe just leave it there in the Vampire’s chest. It goes great with this cool journal.

Nasty Sexy Chest One Piece Swimsuit

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Sexy Chest One Piece Swimsuit
Damn, that’s one sexy chest! Not! *Vomits for 10 minutes straight.* This Sexy Chest One Piece Swimsuit will transform you ladies into something hideous, but this is what some of us look like at the beach already. I should probably sue for copyright infringement because they totally just copied my nasty man body. These come in three skin tones and all are horrifying. That photoshop above gives you some idea. This is nastier than that Guts Swimsuit.