The Addams Family Haunted Mansion Print

The Addams Family Haunted Mansion Print
This Addams Family Haunted Mansion Print is based on the famous Disney Haunted Mansion stretch portraits. They’re creepy and they’re kooky. Mysterious and spooky. They’re altogether ooky. The Addams Family. The whole family is here in this cool print.

Fun fact: I’m writing a screenplay for a reboot. The hook? It’s Samuel Adams’ family. They make beer in colonial times and they are monsters. The daughters name is Tuesday instead of Wednesday. I was gonna call her Friday, but she never picked up. *rim shot* So what if I was a little inebriated when I wrote it? Alcohol is my muse. It’s also my mouthwash and my choice of cologne.

Pikachu Cthulhu Mashup Crochet Doll

Pikachu Cthulhu Mashup Crochet Doll
Pikachu and Cthulhu sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love then comes marriage. Then comes Cthulhu in a baby carriage. Of doom! Someone mashed up our favorite Pokemon with our favorite ancient evil. The result? Well, it’s cute as hell, but let’s just say you don’t want to see anything like this on your ultrasound. If you do, then everyone knows you were cheating on Pikachu with Cthulhu. Look at those cute wittle tentacles! Who’s the cutest wittle evil Pokemon? You are. Yes you are.

This Pikachu Cthulhu Mashup Crochet Doll is an unholy abomination and I love it.

Rib Cage With Heart Pendant Necklace Or Keychain

Rib Cage With Heart Pendant Necklace Or Keychain
This Rib Cage With Heart Pendant Necklace Or Keychain nearly scared my heart out of my ribs! T’was love that put it back in. No, seriously, this is a cool piece of ribby hearty flair. Is that even anatomically accurate? I have no idea. Still, you wear this pendant (Or keychain) and you know exactly where your heart is at all times. Roughly. It’s behind your ribs. Kinda. This reminds me that my heart belongs to the McRib sandwich. But that’s beside the point.

Pretty cool. NOT gonna do a ribbed for your pleasure joke. Not even gonna do it. But it is. You know it and I know it. So feel the pleasure.

Rainbow Hologram Alien Backpack

Rainbow Hologram Alien Backpack
This Rainbow Hologram Alien Backpack is all shiny and holographic. It’s the future. I already had a gypsy foretell this: It is the future. The world is a barren waste. Those that survive are butt-hurt due to the experiments of the alien invaders. Humans are enslaved with alien heads on their back. You alone will save the world. She also predicted that I would tip her well and she was right. I had board game money, she had no eyesight. It was like a match made in heaven. This etsy listing means that the time is upon us.

*Sees giant rainbow alien head floating into my room at night.* ARHHHHHHH! What do you want? No, not again! *Lights go on.* Just my stupid roommate wearing this backpack as he backs into the room. NOT COOL!

Creepy Glowing Alien Visitor Pendant

Creepy Glowing Alien Visitor Pendant
This Alien Visitor Pendant reminds me of those alien lizards from “V” who pretended to be human with fake skin and stuff. It’s cool, we unmasked them on live TV and exposed them. Go take somebody else’s water and use other humans for food you crazy space geckos. Is it just me or does this guy look pissed off? He’s pretty butt-hurt, which is funny considering all the probing they do to humans. It’s about time you got some of your own.

Also, check out how cool this thing looks when it glows. He’s revealing his natural green color. Of course I guess that could be the afterglow from alien sex.

UFO’s in flight…Afternoon delight!

Unless he’s just green with envy, cuz everybody else is gettin’ some. I feel ya dog. Fist bump me. Sorry, forgot you were just a head. *Hits a knuckle to your forehead.* Intergalactic women. Who needs em? Alien bros before hos am I right? Oh, stop being grumpy. See, this is why the ladies don’t dig ya.
Creepy Glowing Alien Visitor Pendant