Tag: plush

Vincent Van Gogh Plush Doll With Removable Ear

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Vincent Van Gogh Plush Doll With Removable Ear
Give yourself the gift of Van Gogh, one of history’s greatest painters. Then give the one you love Van Gogh’s ear. Just like Van Gogh did. Thanks to this Vincent Van Gogh Plush Doll With Removable Ear. You don’t have to be stark raving mad to cut off your ear and send it to the woman you love. But it helps.

Say what you want about Vincent. He would always lend you his ear. Can you “ear” me Vincent? Oh that’s your bad side. Sorry. Oh well, you know what they say. Ear today, gone tomorrow. Vincent Van Gogh? More like Vincent Van Gone Deaf on one side.

Man, I hope that chick at least gave him a little something for cutting his damn ear off. If not, that’s just cold.

via Ohgizmo

No Thanks: Spider Backpack

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Spider Backpack
I don’t want to alarm you, but there’s a spider on your back. He looks like a spider backpack, but he’s all jacked into your spine and brain, controlling your every action. What do you do? Well, I would hand a good friend a taser and let him zap that stowaway. Hopefully he doesn’t miss and the spider has a seizure before falling to the ground dead. That’s how you deal with that little problem.

Same way I got rid of that tick I had on my side last year, when I grabbed some exposed wire from the wall and slammed it into my side after yelling CLEAR! Blew him to smithereens and burned every hair off my body. I may have looked like a naked mole rat, but I was a naked mole rat without a tick attached. Lifehacks for the win!

Brian The Giant Turd Stuffed Doll

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Brian The Giant Turd Stuffed Doll
I was just saying the other day that every Brian I meet turns out to be a real turd. I’m sure their not all bad, but man, I’ve met a lot of turds named Brian. Here’s another. Brian The Giant Turd Stuffed Doll. He’s ready to be displayed in your home so he can turd up your place. Hopefully they deliver him on time and he’s not turdy. I mean tardy. I’m not sure what his maker ate, but it looks like he’s got some green shading there. Also very puffy eyes. I guess it’s tiring being a turd. Or maybe he’s just sad he came in turd place in a contest.

Also, how do you get a turd that’s segmented in that way? I’m guessing you push, squeeze and push squeeze. I have no idea. And who would have thought that a turd could have such full lips? It’s from kissin’ butt on the way out. He’s a little brown noser. That’s probably why somebody gave him that shiner on his eye.
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Zombie Squid 3.5 Ft Long Pillow Plush

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Zombie Squid 3.5 Ft Long Pillow Plush
This Zombie Squid 3.5 Ft Long Pillow Plush has an exposed brain. I like that. Brains are sexy. Why don’t you come on over here and give me a backrub with all of those arms? *Gets slapped silly by tentacles* Fine, we can just cuddle on the couch. Damn! You’re not gonna take my brain right? Fine, then how about a little Netflix and Chill? *Gets slapped silly by tentacles* No, I just meant watching Netflix and having ice cream!

Chibi Cthulhu

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Chibi Cthulhu
Chibi Cthulhu is back! And this time he brought lollipops. Where do you think he gets his powers? The ancient evil has never looked so cute and cuddly. You can get them in any color you want, or with different wing colors. Hey, those are dum-dums. No, I’m not dissing baby Cthulhu. Those lollipops are dum-dums. Heh. Lollipops are stupid.

Pro tip: Never take something called a Molly-pop when it’s offered to you at a nightclub. Otherwise you end up rolling around in the street, trying to put out the fire of pretty lights that are clinging to you and singing softly. Always clean your ears and make sure you hear LOLLIPOP.
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