Tag: plush

Sewn Bones: Plush Animal Skeletons

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Sewn Bones Plush Animal Skeletons
Floozey (Hey,didn’t we meet in a seedy bar one night?) makes these cool, cuddly and creepy Sewn Bones: Plush Animal Skeletons. Experience the softer side of skeletons. You can choose from rats, a two-headed Pug, a Dragon’s head and more. At least these bones will never be broken.

I’m gonna get the rat and name it Cal C. Um. Maybe I’ll get the Pug too and call their heads Ribby Allen and Mia Marrow. Hell, I’ll just have a plush menagerie of bone pets.
Read more “Sewn Bones: Plush Animal Skeletons”

Monster Travel Pillow

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Monster Travel Pillows
This is a fun Monster Travel Pillow. It is cute and cartoony and fun. It even has nice “meat” definition on that arm. But I think the seller might be a serial killer. What’s up with that blood all over your mannequin’s face? Damn. Didn’t you ever see Dexter? That’s why you prep the room with clear plastic sheets. Otherwise, the next thing you know you have a bloody mannequin head on Etsy.

Anyway, I might buy this travel pillow just to have an arm around my neck while I’m watching movies. I’ll let it have the remote and see what’s on because of it’s huge hand. I also might occasionally slap myself with that huge hand just because. Is it weird that I want to pick on those scabs as if they were my own? I’m weird like that.

Spruce The Sasquatch Doll

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Spruce The Sasquatch Doll
Hey Spruce what up? Everybody, this is Spruce The Sasquatch Doll. Spruce, this is everybody. Now mingle. I’ll get the drinks. So Spruce, why are you named after a tree? Or is because you like to clean the house? You know, sprucing things up a bit? I kid. I kid. Speaking of kids, where’s your daddy Bigfoot? I guess even you don’t have sightings since he’s behind on child support. Zing! Burn! And why do you look like my grandmother? Are we related? I know we have the same amount of chest hair. Not to mention the same caveman IQ.

Baby Chupacabras

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Baby Chupacabras
Don’t let these Baby Chupacabras fool you. Sure, they look cute and like they are partying during mardi-gras , but they have been known to rip your face off rather than asking to see your boobs and giving you beads. Well, they do that too, but that’s not the point. They were created in a government lab to look FAB-u-LESS and flamboyant. I say mission accomplished.

I feel like they are missing their accessories: A bong, a blunt and some bling. Hard to believe these guys are the ones sucking blood out of goats.
Read more “Baby Chupacabras”

Zombie Cubes: Zombies Squared!

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

zombie cubes
Stack up some Zombie Cubes and build a cool Zombie fort. Fun fact of the day and behind the scenes tidbit: I almost typed Zombie Pubes. Was gonna leave it, but then I figured zombie pubes are probably the first thing to fall out once you get bitten by an undead psychopath. If they don’t need ’em on their privates, I don’t need ’em in my paragraph.

These little cubes are hand painted and each zombie has its’ own personality. Squished it, toss it, stack them up and knock them down. Just like a real zombie, no matter how much abuse you throw at these, they will retain their original shape, even if crushed. Stack’em, whack’em, thwack ’em, straight up attack ’em. Pubeless monsters!