Tag: salt and pepper shakers

Alien Head Salt And Pepper Shakers

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

alien salt and pepper shakers
This set of Alien Head Salt And Pepper Shakers is what you want on the table when you abduct your next dinner guest. As any alien knows, it is only polite to feed them first, before you go anal probing the subject. Wine ’em, dine ’em, then confine ’em. That’s my motto! Wait! That came out wrong. I mean, if I was an alien.

This is a swell spread guys. You are the best dinner hosts an abductee could want. Thanks for the meal. And here I was worried that I was going to be subjected to experimentation. Ha! You guys are alright! What’s next? I have plenty of room for dessert!*rubs tummy*

*Four sets of black eyes turn toward me* The leader sends me a telepathic answer:

Uranus.

*Jaw drops to the table.* *Passes out and falls forward into a bowl of mashed potatoes.*

It Does Exist!: Loch Ness Monster Salt & Pepper Set

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

loch ness monster salt and pepper setSweet! This Loch Ness Monster Salt and Pepper set will complete my mythical creature salt and pepper shaker collection. I already have Bigfoot, the Chupacabra and Mothman!

I thought I saw the Loch Ness Monster once, but those humps sticking out of the water were just a family of overturned obese people in inner tubes. They went all sideways when I zipped past on my jetski. Haha! Take that you-

*slams against the side of a boat. Falls into water. Sinking. Snake like form swims toward me. Circles around. Farts. Then leaves laughing.*

Did I see Nessie? The nurses say it was the morphine, but I’ll always believe that Nessie saved me. He disrespected me for sure, but those farts brought me to the surface…I know what I saw. I know what I smelled.

Donut Holes With Faces Salt and Pepper Shakers

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

donut hole peepsThese ugly and creeptastic salt and pepper shakers look scared as s**t. They should be, since they look like powdered sugar and cinnamon donut hole people. Otherwise known as munchkins in Dunkin Donut land. I’ll down a whole box of these, faces or not.

When they see me coming through the doors of donut heaven and walking up to the counter, they know what I want. They just hand me my box o’ munchkins. The box doesn’t even have a handle, because they know I’ll down ’em before she can even ask if I want a coffee, which I don’t. DD coffee gives you mud butt. Everyone knows that.

The point is, I’m really hungry now and your sweet sugary faces ain’t gonna stop me. But yeah, as salt and pepper shakers, these are real f***ing ugly.
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Offensive Much? The Natives Are Restless

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

black americanaNot much to say about this listing for a Vintage 7 Pc Lot Black Americana Native African Figurines Salt Pepper Set. Wow. Just wow.
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