This Life-Sized Bigfoot Statue has some big feet, I guarantee it. This is exactly what I need to scare my neighbors. The mythical beast can now be in your yard, minus the foul stench and occasional sasquatch poo. Now you can have an encounter every night. Just go out to your yard. Just don’t let the real Bigfoot see this. They don’t take too kindly to imposters/
Tag: sasquatch
Me Like Beer Bigfoot Bottle Opener
*Talking to Bigfoot* Me like beer. You like beer. We drink beer together and open them with this Bigfoot Bottle Opener. *Pops open our beers*
An hour later…
You shut yer big furry mouths, I’ll drink you under the table. What d’ya mean I’m making an ass o myself? Why you stinky man-ape, thems fightin’ words. One more thing. As long as we’re hanging out you’re gonna refer to me as Han and I’ll call you Chewy. Shut it. Just play along. Did you hit the hyperdrive or am I just seeing stars? *Passes out.*
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Kid Finally Captures Bigfoot On Camera
So some kid had previously seen Bigfoot and no one would believe him. His mother was probably like, “That’s nice dear.” and went back to her quaalude infused loose leaf tea otherwise known as the internet. So this kid finally captures the creature on video while looking out his window. Only thing is, this loud-mouthed kid is so excited he yells at Bigfoot and basically scares him off as he is shaking the camera in excitement. Despite this kid’s spastic nature, I’m proud of him. You finally did it bro. You caught the beast on camera.
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Bigfoot Playing Cards
Bigfoot Playing Cards. Deal me in son! BAM! *Smacks cards on the table* Full house, Yetis high! Yeah, well I got a Sasquatch straight, which is better than a Sasquatch flush cuz we all know that Sasquatch don’t flush. And if he does, he just clogs the toilet. Deal ’em again. I may not have a good hand, but I got a “Big foot”. *Cackling laughter followed by the sound of a tooth falling onto the table.* Keep dealing. I’m having so many sightings I’m about to get my own Bigfoot show. Yuck yuck yuck!
You see how fun Bigfoot Playing Cards are? Forget hunting the dude and just enjoy a card game already.
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Cool Bigfoot Lunchbox – You Will Believe
Pack a lunch in this Bigfoot Lunchbox. I’m gonna pack a honking huge Sasquatch sammich. Along with some Yeti Yogurt. You can take this hiking in the forest too, so that when Bigfoot attacks you while eating, he can know how famous he is. It will probably make him smile. Then he’ll go back to killing you and then sit and enjoy your lunch. Then take this lunchbox home to his kid.