Tag: sea creatures

Octopus Bedding

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Octopus Bedding
I’d like to be, under the sea, in an Octopus’ garden with you. I’m not sure what they grow in their garden, but it sounds cool. Anything sounds cool when you are the Beatles and doing enough drugs. “Paul, me mate! I ave a great idea fer a song. It’s about an Octopus.”

Well, if you want to be all covered in octopus tentacles, check out this cool Octopus bedding. They have a bunch of colors and styles to choose from. Pretty cool. Calamari cool. Yeah, I know calamari is squid and not octopus. Just let me say cool things!

Hail Hydra! I’m out!
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Deep Sea Critter Lid Lifters

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

deep sea critter lid lifter
These Deep Sea Critter Lid Lifters are cool. You know what sea creatures hate? Pots that boil over. I know from personal experience because my wife is a raging sea hag and she can’t even cook a bowl of noodles. *dodges a bowl of flying boiling water* You missed me bi-

Update: Typing this from the library now because boiling water and blogging do not mix. Been picking boiled pasta from my keyboard for 2 hours. I’ll be headed to a Best Buy right after, so I can get screwed on a new laptop and no, if it doesn’t cover a rampaging wife from hell, I don’t want your warranty!

Anyway, where was I? Yeah, so these lid lifters look like sea creatures escaping from your boiling pot. That’s what all the food looks like in my house. Like me, everything just wants to escape her clutches. Looks like it’s going to be another night dining at Chez Kit-Kat with a side of Burger King. I better call Cthulhu and see if she simmered down before I head home. Also gonna get a waterproof case for my new laptop.

Houseware Of Horrors

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

housewares of horrors
Etsy seller shaynegreco has all kinds of housewares with horrible things crawling all over them. Mostly sea creatures. The only time I’ve seen crabs this size crawling on plates was when I visited that “Gentleman’s club/ Diner” in New Orleans. (Bad combination. Do NOT recommend.) At least these won’t be moving and they won’t require a doctor in a hazmat suit to shut down the premises.

This seller has Octopi on platters, crabs on china and other monstrosities that don’t belong on your dishware. Every time you serve yourself on these creepy plates you are fighting creatures for your food. Get off Lobster! Mine! Go find Nemo and leave my food alone!
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