Imma sit back and relax on Halloween, watch my favorite monsters. Then after I’ve had enough of watching my parents fight Imma watch this The Classic Monster Coffin Blu-Ray Collection – 8 Disc Box Set. This is really the first time anything good has ever come out of a coffin. Except for that time I stole my uncle Henry’s rolex at the viewing.
This set gives you Dracula, Frankenstein, The Mummy, The Invisible Man, Bride of Frankenstein and The Wolf Man.
The You’ve Created a Monster! Dress-Up Magnet Set lets you create a monster worthy of a mad scientist. Create your monsters, put them on your fridge or any other metal surface, then wait for lightning to strike and bring them to life. It’s alive! It’s alive! You can make your own horror story with these cool magnets.
Some parts include: Giant Squid, Harpy, Dragon, Vampire Bat, Count Dracula, Frankenstein’s Monster, with even more monster heads, bodies, and accessories. Mix and match them to make something horrible. Then display it for all to see.
Mind your own beeswax by displaying this macabre Beeswax Coffin Candle Set in your home or funeral parlor. Macabre. That’s a weird word. Should be said like mac-ab-bree, but people say mac-cobb. Words are weird. That’s okay, we like weird. Imma put a bunch of these on a birthday cake for a really old person and see if I get punched.
Time for some ladies of horror. And I’m not just talking about a meeting with my ex wives. That’s scheduled for lunch. I’m talking about this cool Ladies of Horror Art Print Set. Hmmmm. You know, they kinda all look like my ex wives. Except that these art prints are not yelling at me and screaming. This pleases me. I may just hang these on the wall and pretend I’m still married to them all like a nutty horror-mormon. They are so much easier to live with now. I think we’ll all be very happy.
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This Cthulhu Fireside Companion Set is a set of cool tools for your fireplace. Probably forged by a blacksmith with some Cthulhu tentacle slime to give it magical properties. It is a “set”, not an actual “Cthulhu Fireside Companion”, cuz trust me, that doesn’t work.
Thanks for being my companion as I sit by the fire, Cthulhu. Hey, stop squirming. I know you barely fit in that chair, what with your butt-tentacles and all, but damn, sit still. What do you mean it’s too hot in here? Okay, so your skin is drying out. Put on some moisturizer. Damn, stop complaining and just enjoy an evening by the fire! You know something? You are not a good fireside pal!
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