Man, this is a dark Creepy Kitchen Towel Set. I don’t own any towels cuz I mostly use my shirt for a towel, but if I owned these, I would wait until a guest used them and say stuff like, “Leave and never darken my towels again.” Or “So you throw in the towel eh? I win again! Best of three?” Towels are fun. They’re towel-toly awesome! Don’t towel anyone I said so.
You get a heart, a skull and a raven. Wait that’s a crow. I think I just ate crow.
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Send your friends a postcard that says, “I believe in these mythical monsters and so should you.” This Mythical Monster Postcard Set includes Bigfoot, Wendigo, the Loch Ness Monster and ‘El Chupacabra. Sending a postcard is like giving your friends their own sighting. In their mailbox.
Give me a shot bartender! I just seen something that scared me senseless and I can’t stop shaking. *Looks around me all nervous. Bartender pours the drink. Sets it in front of me, using a glass from this Set of 4 Minimalist Scary Movie Mask Shot Glasses. I shriek like a banshee.*
Why you screaming?
Because that’s what I saw. The face on the glass! The scream ghost guy!
*He pours another. I scream like Justin Bieber faced with an actual woman.*
What’s your problem now bud?
Tha- That rabbit face on the glass. He was with the scream ghost guy.
*Pours another. I scream.*
What the hell? I gave you a blank glass this time.
*Wipes the glass until it’s clear.* Oh thank god. That smudge mark looked like my ex-wife!
This is one beautiful Full Gothic Tarot Card Set that you can download and print out. Then you can open your own tarot card reading shop and I’ll drop by to be your first customer. Spoiler alert: The fool card is gonna come out and then you and I are gonna argue over which one of us it is.
Well, I don’t know, who’s the more foolish? The fool or the fool who follows him? I don’t have time for this foolishness. Oh yeah? Well make time cuz I booked a full reading! You mean you booked a fool reading! Yeah, that’s what I said- Why you-
Why do tarot card reading always end this way for me?
Now here is a gift I would love to get. This Vintage Horror Scary Movie Poster Popcorn Bowl And Tumblers Set is perfect for horror movie night. Horror movie night is when you are watching a movie and you suddenly realize you have no popcorn! NOOOOOOOOOO!
You get that cool popcorn bowl and two tumblers that feature cool scary movie graphics. You also get a 3 DVD set of scary movies. Each DVD has 4 movies. That’s 12 movies! So this set is perfect for anybody who needs a bowl and cups and also has no movies. So basically a guy sitting in an empty room looking sad. Basically me! I can’t wait to get this in the mail.