Tag: skull

Wood Skull Smartphone Docking Station

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Wood Skull Smartphone Docking Station
If your smartphone was really smart, it would be sitting in this Wood Skull Smartphone Docking Station looking badass. Your phone would be all like, “I’m cool. I’m cool. Just kicking back. Gettin’ a charge.” Cuz you know, phones always talk to people. Cuz you’re psycho. I kid. I kid.

Okay, not really. My phone won’t shut up. Stupid Siri, getting a stupid sentient soul and gabbing my ear off. And you can’t turn it off at that point cuz it would be murder. It’s driving me mad!!!!
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Leather Human Skulls

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Leather Human Skulls
Hey leatherface. What’s up? These Leather Human Skulls are pretty cool. I could be…per-suede-ed to buy one. Get it? See what I did there? That’s such a bad joke, you should tan my hide. Uh-oh. Did it again.

These skulls started out as lace, believe it or not, but one day they were singing, “Give to me your leather, take from me, my lace.” And that’s when shizz got real. Used to be lace.Now are leather. Stuff like that happens with Stevie Nicks witchcraft songs.
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Dragon Skull Beeswax Candle

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Dragon Skull Beeswax Candle
Cool Dragon Skull Beeswax Candle dude! Mind your own beeswax!

If you light it, they will come. Huh? Who’s that? If you light it, they will come. Uhhhhh. That’s the first time the voices ever said that. *Shrugs and lights my awesome dragon candle.* Weird. It’s getting all dark and stormy outside. Sounds like wings flapping. And shrieks. *Watches as a dragon busts through the window pane. Another bursts out of the fireplace. And the front door. Then the Kool-Aid man breaks through the wall shouting, “Oh yeah!”*

Oh f**k! What have I done?

Fetal Skull Replica That You Can Paint

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Fetal Skull Replica That You Can Paint
This whole DIY paint your own Fetal Skull craze has gotta stop. I’ve seen mothers painting their baby’s heads like American Flags, bowling balls, monster faces, you name it. Then they share the pics on the Insta-grind or whatever. I saw a mom with twins and each kid’s head was painted to look like a boob. She was all pushing ’em together making goo-goo eyes at passers-by. Well, if you can’t stop moms from using their baby’s heads as canvases, maybe they can at least paint on something else. Like this Fetal Skull Replica That You Can Paint. You know, so you can leave your kid alone. It’s gotta stop.
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Raven Head Jewelry

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Raven Head Jewelry
This piece of Raven Head Jewelry is pretty cool. Put this on and you’ll get noticed. It’s called a Kopfschmücke and yeah, I know it sounds dirty as a dollar matinee in the red light district, but apparently that just means “headpiece”. I looked it up. You can never go wrong with a bird skull accented with flowers. Unless you’re a florist I guess.

Why isn’t florist spelled floorist? Cuz that’s how it sounds. I used to think a florist was a janitor, mopping floors all day. Stupid language. Kopfschmucke on it!