
So….No door bell. How do I use this Skeleton Wreath? Should I just pick up a bone and use it to knock? Do I use my knuckles to knock on the skull? Maybe just shake the whole thing and make a ruckus? What the hell is a ruckus anyway? Am I causing one now? So many questions. All I know for sure is that I should probably turn around and run when I see a Skeleton Wreath on a door.
Read more “Skeleton Wreath: This House Has Good Bones”
Tag: skull
EGG-A-MATIC Skull Egg Mold

The EGG-A-MATIC Skull Egg Mold will automatically turn eggs into skulls. Unlike the nations school system, which turns young skulls into egg-batter. But enough of that. Politics makes strange bedfellows. No really, the kind of bedfellow that gets all weird and kinky and makes you do unspeakable stuff in the middle of the night.
The point is, now you can turn your eggs into a skull and have a scary/spooky breakfast. Bite the head and suck out it’s yellow brains. Just like the school system did to you. That will teach ’em. Yay! Now everybody’s stupid.
Read more “EGG-A-MATIC Skull Egg Mold”
Skull Shaving Brush

Use a skull to shave your skull. You hairy-skulled beast! The Skull Shaving Brush is a scary, yet elegant way to shave that man-beard off. Me? I haven’t shaved for like 2 years. I’m going all biblical on your arses. I went outside the other day to fix the walkway and the kids next door were all like, “Hey Moses. Nice stone tablets. You broke your own 1st commandment: Don’t be a fat loser!”
That’s okay, because the night before I did his mom and I’m pretty sure I left her with a burning bush. Also when she got a little rough and squeezed my man junk, I shouted “Let my people go!”
Yeah, so f**k that kid!
Read more “Skull Shaving Brush”
3D Printed T-REX Skull Shower Head

Make your shower rad and awesome with this 3D Printed T-REX Skull Shower Head. There’s no manlier shower than one that simulates a T-Rex spew-puking all over you. To get you clean of course. Look how sharp those teeth are. If this thing bit me I would be super sore? *How sore?* Dino-sore! Obviously.
I would install this thing in my shower and paint a body behind it so I could get the full effect. Then I would make it so it looks like his stubby T-Rex arms are holding my soap and shampoo. Clean me T-Rex! Clean me! Suds are your enemy! Clean the species who now own this planet and behold our majesty! Arrggggggghhhhh! Who flushed the toilet?
Read more “3D Printed T-REX Skull Shower Head”
Steel Dinosaur Skull T-Rex Metal Desk Organizers

I’m working on a script called Jurassic Parks and Rec. It’s about a bunch of dinosaurs working for local government, trying to figure out the best way to deal with extinction level events. That really has nothing to do with these awesome Steel Dinosaur Skull T-Rex Metal Desk Organizers. Just figured I’d toot my own horn a little. *Wiggles thumb and pinky* Call me Hollywood.
These T-Rex skull organizers are sweet! They make your desk look like a rugged manly man works there. And I say that knowing full well that it takes a lot to counter that limited edition Rainbow Dash figure I have on my desk now. With the Rainbow Brite post-it notes.