Man, girls like this make me so nervous. I never know what to say. Nice Full Body Skeleton Halloween Costume. Seems like I can’t say anything without coming off like a jerk. I can’t tell her that I want to strip the bones off of her. Just sounds wrong. No matter how true it may be. Hey baby, you have some tight fitting bones! No, that won’t work. She does have a nice set of ribs on her though. This is the first time something has ever been ribbed for my pleasure. Just FYI. You see why I’m such a hit with the ladies? You should all be happy I spend my time writing this blog, rather than being slapped by you all day long. Bringing you the hits like this poison ivy costume.
Tag: spooky
Freddy Krueger Slasher Pillow
This Freddy Krueger Slasher Pillow is cool and all, but how come everytime I lay my head on it, I wake up with slash marks on my face.
Now I lay me down to sleep,
And Freddy slashes at my cheek.
If I should die before I wake,
F-U Freddy my soul ain’t yours to take!
Get out my dreams you freak!
Beeswax Coffin Candle Set
Mind your own beeswax by displaying this macabre Beeswax Coffin Candle Set in your home or funeral parlor. Macabre. That’s a weird word. Should be said like mac-ab-bree, but people say mac-cobb. Words are weird. That’s okay, we like weird. Imma put a bunch of these on a birthday cake for a really old person and see if I get punched.
Cast Iron Skeleton Hand Bottle Openers
Hey, give me a hand with this bottle cap will ya? *Holds out my hand. Someone slaps one of these Cast Iron Skeleton Hand Bottle Openers in my hand* Uh… That’s not what I had in mind. Okay, I’ll try it. Have at it skeleton hand! Whoa! Pretty good. This thing pops caps easier than a LA street gang. *Shakes hands with the skeleton hand* You’re alright Mr. skeleton hand. Ohhhhh. You make a great back scratcher too. Nice.
Gothic Spider Web Halloween Wedding Invitations
Having a wedding on All Hallows eve? These Gothic Spider Web Halloween Wedding Invitations will help. Say, why did the spider not send out any wedding invitations. Because she was a black widow. And they eat the male after sex.I think. Did I get that right? Anyway, that was a terrible joke.
I’m gonna get married on Halloween too, once a woman will have me. That way we can go trick or treating in our Wedding clothes. Do you have any idea how much candy a wedding dress will hold? Of course it has to come off of the bride first. Then they will complain for years how all of those Snickers bars and Kit Kats ruined her precious wedding dress. Waaa waaa waaa. Shouldn’t have been wearing white anyway, if you know what I mean.
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