Tag: statues

Day of the Dead King and Queen Skeleton Statues

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Day of the Dead King and Queen Skeleton Statues
Today may not be the Day of the Dead, but that doesn’t mean I won’t buy these Day of the Dead King and Queen Skeleton Statues and put them in my yard. It also doesn’t mean I won’t kneel before the royal couple and pledge my loyalty to them. Hey, I need structure. I’m best when people or skeletons are giving me orders. That way I have someone to blame all of my bad decisions on. So what would you have me do my king and queen? Rob a liquor store? Well, if it’s for the good of the kingdom…

Sadly, that’s how I found out that skeletons don’t have access to bail money. They also don’t care that your cellmate also wants to be your boyfriend.

Life Size Universal Monster Horror Statues

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Life Size Universal Horror Monster Statues
Check out these Life Size Universal Monster Horror Statues from Workshop77. I guess their first 76 workshops got trashed by monsters. My only complaint is that there is no Creature From The Black Lagoon. Actually, my second complaint is that I can see the Invisible Man. He’s right there. Well, he was there a second ago. I swear. Anyway, all of your favorites are here, life sized and scary as the day you first saw them. Put ’em around your house and do the mash. The Monster Mash. It’s a graveyard smash!

Why ya gotta do vandalism? Somebody’s body is resting there.

Shut up hippy.

It’ll catch on in a flash.

What will?

The Monster Mash. I invited the ghost of Johnny Cash. He did the Monster Mash. Wa-oooooo
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3-D Horror Houses

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https://www.etsy.com/shop/themoonlightmuse?ga_order=price_desc&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=spooky&ref=sr_gallery_36
These 3-D Horror Houses from themoonlightmuse are spooky as hell. They look just like the real houses. The Psycho house, the Adams family and more.

Like my house, they look fine from the outside, but inside? Inside of my house, blood drips down the wall, spirits talk to you and the tap water is all brown and nasty. The blood is because I like to throw tomato sauce against the wall, the spirits talking to you are just me trying to communicate over my 6 foot tall stacks of hoarded newspapers and the tap water only flows brown cuz I mixed up the pipes up when I fixed the crapper last week. See? There’s a reasonable explanation for everything.
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Realistic Beavis & Butthead Sculptures

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beavis butthead
Heh heh. Heh heh. This sucks. These Realistic Beavis & Butthead Sculptures are all like, lifelike and stuff.

Yeah! Yeah! Heh heh. Those guys look creepy. Heh. They look familiar. Fire! Fire! I am cornholio! I need TP for my bunghole!

Sit these guys down in your living room, in front of your TV, and just watch the idiotic magic happen. Unless of course you have kids. In that case, just sit back and watch your own idiots pick their noses and watch TV. I know I gave my parents hours of entertainment. These sculptures are ultra realistic, right down to the braces and bad acne. For $8,300.00 you can have MTV induced nightmares forever. I’m not sure which one scares me more.
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