And I ran. I ran so far away. I just- Oh wait. That’s a Flock of Seagulls. This is a Flock Of Ravens For Your Wall. What’s the name for a flock of Ravens? An unkindness, a murder, a gaggle, a giggle, a gander, a curiosity, a regiment? I have no idea. I just know that these ravens are gonna make your wall look like an army of birds are materializing through your wall.
That’s crazy. Feather-pluckin weird if ya ask me. I don’t know what everyone’s raven about?
I don’t have any skeletons in my closet. Except for this Skeletons in the Closet Coaster Set. That’s probably because I don’t get much company. You should always keep your skeletons in your closet. I mean, skeletons, right? People see skeletons outside of your closet and they think you’re a killer. Yeah, a killer decorator! Nobody understands my love of the creepy!
It’s an Articulated Rattlesnake. Does that mean it’s well spoken? I kid. I kid. More like rattle bones, am I right? This guy is gonna look good on my shelf and scare everyone who visits my home. And by everyone, I mean mother. And yes, I refer to her as mother in the weird creepy Norman Bates way.It’s okay. Mother can’t hear us. She’s in the other room in her rocking car, collecting cobwebs.
Read more “Articulated Rattlesnake”
This Cthulhu Journal looks pretty friggin’ cool man. Use it as a diary, or a journal, or a place to write your awesome yet unappreciated Cthulhu fan fiction titled “Titillated By Tentacles” aka Miskatonic Mistress. Or “A tentacle fondled my mountains of madness.” Or just you know, use it for grocery lists or something. But I really want to read your fan fiction. Sounds exciting and neurotic. I mean erotic. I mean. I don’t know what I mean.
Man, I really love this book. I’m all wrapped up in it. Get it? I’m all wrapped up in this Dracula Novel Book Scarf. Vlad the impaler? More like Vlad, the ensconcer. It’s a novel. It’s a scarf. For all I know, it’s a novel about a young scarf who thinks it’s a novel, but really it’s a drug-addled guy who is scarfing some food down. That’s some head-trippy inception stuff right there. Mind blown by that theory! Good think that theory bought my mind dinner first. Do I even know what I’m saying? I wouldn’t put money on it.
Read more “Dracula Novel Book Scarf”