Nice ribs! I hear protective boob wear is all the rage now that Wonder Woman has a movie, but this Rib Cage Chain With Skeleton Cameo isn’t going to protect any Warrior Princesses. It does accentuate your rack pretty nicely though. I’m just ribbing ya. That was crude. Ya might say that joke was a bust. This boob-cage is like a decorative outer-wire bra. I like it. Best rack of rib I’ve seen all day and I just got back from the butcher’s shop. At least I think I went today. My mammary is not what it used to be. I prefer my boobs free range though, not all cooped up in a cage. They need to run wild, even if it’s a bit nippy outside.
Tag: style
Copper Bat Pendant Necklace
Feeling Batty? Me too. Check out this cool Copper Bat Pendant Necklace. It’s friggin’ awesome. Bat-tastic. Bat-mazing. I just want to stare at it all day, but then I would be accused of staring at your breasts. And you’d tell me, “Hey, my bats are up here.” So then I’d look up at the bats in your hair and realize you were Horror host Elvira. Then I’d look down at your breasts for real and get slapped. But I would regret nothing.
Evil Eye Necklaces – Stop Looking At Me!
You giving me the evil eye? Okay, cool. As long as it’s not the stink eye. Or the pink eye. These Evil Eye Necklaces from Etsy seller SharaJewels are a great accessory. I’m calling this one Iris. So how do you make this kind of eye jewelry? Well, you have to learn and be a good pupil. You have to sit in school and learn and not say anything corny…a. You gotta have 20/20 focus, or if ya don’t you can always hit up lenscrafters, where they laugh at you and fit you with a pair of old timey nerd-glasses, but that may have just been a special treat just for me.
Anyway, I really just want this one to stop looking at me, cuz it’s kinda flirty and kinda dirty. Which makes me feel self conscious. So stop it.
Swarovski Crystal Skull Earrings
Wow, look at those crystal skull earrings. Back off Indy, that’s mine! I’m gonna sell it for a fortune and buy a small island. *Knees Indy in his 70 year old junk and watches as he falls down a trap pit. Then I swing into action, clutching a jungle vine and snatch these Swarovski Crystal Skull Earrings off of the lovely lady who is no longer wearing them and jump into a waiting jeep.* So pretty. Such a rare treasure! What the? *Indy drops behind me as I’m racing down a tight road on the side of a cliff. He gives me a choke hold, so I elbow him in the ribs and send him flying over the cliff.* Haha. Sucker. *Reaches into my pocket where the earrings are missing.* Nooooooooooo. *Jumps out of the car and over the cliff after him.*
Two adventurers died that day and the treasure was lost again. You see what happens when you interfere Indy? This is why I can’t have nice things.
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Octopus Tentacles Umbrella
This Octopus Tentacles Umbrella will look amazing while it keeps the rain off of you. Like Cthulhu himself, it has tentacles everywhere. Except that his are usually grabbing at a waitress as he calls her toots. You can’t take him anywhere. This is a classy umbrella. Otherwise known as a parasol, if you’re all fancy-like. And you will be fancy, prancing about town, tentacles held high, the water just careening off this thing, giving the impression that you are a protected behind a waterfall. You smile and with your free hand, tease your hair. That’s right. You are woman and everyone can hear that sexy roar.
You have this umbrella to thank. And of course me, who brought it to your attention. I know, I know. No need to thank me. Just doing my job.